Tag: animal

Vintage Taxidermy Fox With Human Wax Face

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fox taxidermy with human face
Ahhh. Look at the cute wittle fox. You so cute. You so- HOLY EVER LOVING GOD!

This Vintage Taxidermy Fox With Human Wax Face is freaky as hell. And you just know that scientists have already created something like this in their secret labs, forcing it to do funny tricks and stuff as they take selfies with it. Then when Muldar and Scully get too close to the truth they had to kill it, even though it had become an awesome scientist household pet and would watch Big Bang Theory with them every night, laughing and flinging it’s hybrid poo. The last thing we see is the cigarette smoking man incinerating the body. Ugh! I can’t look at it anymore.
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Skeleton Playing Cards

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skeleton playing cards
I don’t know about you, but when I’m playing a game of poker, I like to see the bony innards of various critters. Like a Komodo Dragon, maybe a Roadrunner. This set of Skeleton Playing Cards has many more sets of bones, all on 52 poker-sized cards. These cards were created by the American museum of Osteology. I have no idea what that means, other than the fact that it’s fancy talk for going to college for like 8 years to play with animal bones and act like you’re not a freak

My dog plays with bones and he never had any college. In fact he flunked out of obedience school. And he licks his butt just like anyone else.
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Hippopotamus Chair

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hippo chair
Finally someone carved a chair out of a Hippo and painted the whole thing black. Hippo-campus? That ain’t no brain part. That’s a typical American college. Ha ha. I slay me. Because most Americans are obese. Hey, I’m American, so I can say that. You can’t France! Back off! Anywho, this Hippopotamus Chair will make your living room look like a wildlife sanctuary.

Whereas having a real hippo in your home to sit on makes it more of a stank-tuary. They can’t be housebroken. believe me, I’ve tried. It always ends in a steaming pile oozing down the sides of the coffee table. This fake hippo is much better and it’s only like 100 grand. Hit the link above to see the whole collection of freaky chairs.

Real Grass Disposable Dog Potty

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disposable dog poop grass
Dogs are way too much work. Feed me. Let me hump that stuffed animal. Take me outside to pee. Who has time for a needy animal like that? And besides, I do enough of that stuff myself. Well, the Real Grass Disposable Dog Potty will let you bring the outdoors inside, so your dog can relieve himself. Because he or she is too darn lazy to learn how to work a doorknob.

Get off your lazy dog butt and go pee in the yard. Oh nice! While you’re at it, just drop a Cleveland steamer while I’m having my dinner. Lovely.

Duck Tape Still Life Painting

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duct tape duck painting
Do you say duct tape or duck tape? It’s clearly duck tape. Strong enough for a duck, but made for a duct. Doesn’t matter. This artist doesn’t give a cluck what you think. The Duck Tape Still Life Painting is a classy piece of art for your wall.

Or you could just duct tape a purdue chicken to your wall. Now that’s some interactive art. Between the flies and the decomposing, you are going to have one heck of an art show, not to mention a health hazard, for many months to come.