He’s dirty. He’s crawling around on all fours in his pajamas, with a bone in his mouth. This is one ugly ceramic figurine. It even has some real hair on it’s head for that extra creep factor. Somewhere in the world, the lucky buyer is screaming “It puts the lotion on!” at their china cabinet.
Tag: bizarre
Create a Womb With A View: Pregnancy Belly Painting Kit
It’s never too early to get your kid into art. You might as well start when they are in the womb, by painting weird and creepy scenes on that baby bump. That kid isn’t doing anything now aside from hurting your back and robbing you of precious minerals. Might as well make a weird statement on that belly, so you can embarrass them with pictures later in life. You can find the Belly painting kit here.
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Squeezably Soft: Colin the Colon Plush Toy
Now is your chance to buy your very own plush colon. Just like your real colon, this guy is lovable and squeezable. The only difference is this one is clean, won’t pinch off a loaf and it has googly eyes. Usually, it’s me who gets googly eyes, from straining too hard.
TMI? Deal with it. I name my pooping sessions after the books I finish with each sitting. I just took a huge War and Peace. Lately I’m a big George R.R. Martin fan too. The other day I took a Storm of Swords and later that night, I took a Feast of Crows sized dukie that almost set off the fire alarm. I’m calling this whole week A Song of Grunting and Fire.
This cuddly colon is only $30 from Etsy seller organbank, who makes lots of other plush organs too.
Tattooed Marilyn Monroe Painting
Damn Marilyn. That ain’t gonna look good when you’re 80 years old. Ohhhhhhh, my bad. Now I feel awkward. Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the time you have. Mind if I take a look and see what’s under that Martini glass?
This painting is called “Tattoos Are a Girls Best Friend” from artist Alexis Covato. Apparently, so are sleeping pills. Did he just say that? Yeah I did. Get it for $750 on eBay.
Mirror With A Haunted Face
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? *Not you. You look like a fantasy troll who got into a car accident and then had botched reconstructive surgery. (Evil mirror laugh)* You see why I don’t have any mirrors in the house? *Smashes mirror(Because really, what’s another 7 years of this s**t?)*
Anyway, this haunted mirror on eBay has a super grumpy face. I’m calling him Grumpy Ghost, after the famous and grumpy internet cat, but I’m too lazy to make a funny image. The seller has a long and convoluted story(Of course) so I’ll just break it down for you below:
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