Tag: coasters

Set of 4 Zombie Coasters With Crawling Zombie

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Set of 4 Zombie Coasters With Crawling Zombie
If I had friends I would definitely buy this Set of 4 Zombie Coasters With Crawling Zombie. Because how could you not? That zombie is holding up all of those coasters and has a crazy look on his face like, “You messy piece of s**t. Use one and keep your drink off the furniture!”

I just slam my drinks down on Netflix disks. Yep, I’m that guy. So the next time you put your disk in the player and curse when it won’t play, I hope you’ll think of me as you send it back. *Shrugs* DVD player broke. What? I’m just supposed to send them back without getting my moneys worth?

Party Animal Face Coasters

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Party Animal Face Coasters
Unleash your inner party animal with these Party Animal Face Coasters! No, not the monkey. He’s just gonna start breaking stuff and going crazy. I hope that’s brown play-doh he’s throwing! My party animal is the baby kangaroo, cuz I get all bouncy and start jumping around to the music. Also, there’s a good chance I’ll end up deep in your pouch ladies. It’s all good, cuz I’m yours. I’ll never stray. I ain’t no cheetah!
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Brain Specimen Coasters

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brain specimen drink coasters
Hey! Don’t put your drink on my coffee table and stain it! Use your brain! Oh, I see you brought your own Brain Specimen Coasters. I didn’t mean that so literally, but cool. Pass me a slice for my Mountain Dew.

So…Hard to talk about anything else when you got slices of brain all over your table. I can’t think of anything cerebral to say. Uh, you didn’t actually make those yourself right? No, I don’t want to know. Thanks for giving me a piece of your mind, by the way. I hate spillage and stains on my table. Yet I don’t seem to mind brains. Is that weird?
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Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper

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cat butt coffee coasters
Tired of friends leaving sweat rings or drink stains on your tabletop? No worries. Try these Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper. Just lay them out when you have company and these little clenched up Cat butts will keep your surfaces clean.

Keep them away from that one guy. You know, that one guy everybody knows, who has to be the joker and like, starts pushing M & M’s through the pink knitting in the center. He’s all like, hey look at this guys. He gives a chocolate suppository to the coaster and embarrasses everybody, so that you regret even inviting him over. Yeah, sadly I am that guy.

Freddy Krueger Skin Marble Coasters

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freddy krueger drink coasters
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, these Freddy Krueger skin coasters are sick! Freddy wants to protect your furniture from drink spills and those horrible sweat rings. What better way to do this than to rip off some of his own flesh and set it down on your table?

You have to hand it to Freddy. He may be all burnt and melted, but one thing he doesn’t have is acne. Butt-ne? Probably. We all have that right! *crickets* No? Just me? No way! Like I’m the only guy rubbing a bottle Clearasil on each cheek! Whatevs!

I bet the skin sticks to your glass when you try to lift it up too. Nasty!

One, two, Freddy’s skin is goo. Three, four, ain’t gonna drink no more. Now I’m scared and have to stay up all night. Damn you Freddy!