Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set

Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set
This Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set is truly legendary. Not legend-dairy, cuz that just means some kind of cow superhero. I think. Anyway, if you like Cthulhu, you’ll love this set. *Blogging like a DJ today in my shiny jacket and headphones, going all Wricka-Wricka and Erra Erra, puttin’ a match to my scratch and blown’ shizz up* Put your tentacles in the air like ya just don’t care and give it up for my main man Cthulhu and check check check this Necronomicon Box!

Like eldritch horrors? Well, inside of this box you’ll find a Welcome Letter from the Professor and the ‘Society of Cthulhu Investigators,’ a coloring book, an official ‘SCI’ Cthulhu ring, die-cut stickers, Cthulhu patch, and folded poster. Awesome.
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How to Survive Anything Book

How to Survive Anything Book
At first I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I got this book. So…. I will survive. I will Survivveeeeeeee! OW! Hit my head on a damn disco ball. It’s really a bunch of mirror pieces I glued to a styrofoam ball with a flashlight shining on it.

Anyway this How To Survive Anything book will teach you how to survive just like Miss Gloria Gaynor. Stuff like how to survive snake bites, airplane rides, failed parachute openings and much more. Cuz you’ve got all your life to live. You’ve got all your love to give. You will survive. You will survive…hey-hey.

Weird Garbage Pail Kids Scenes

Weird Garbage Pail Kids Scenes
Etsy seller Youmadewhat sells all kinds of little dioramas in plastic boxes, including these Garbage Pail Kids scenes. Too bad there’s no woman who will ever have kids with me. I would name them GPK names. Stuff like Ivana Suckyourblood or Grease Witherspoon. Maybe even Bruce Jender-Bender. Cleveland Steamer? Dim and Dough Kardashian?

But alas, I’m doomed to endless nights of Netflix binge watching and waking up with a sugar coma next to a Ben and Jerrys pyramid so perfect I blame ancient aliens. Whatevs. I got you guys right? Right? Guys? *sigh*
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Flying Bats Necklaces

Flying Bats Necklaces
These Flying Bats Necklaces from BellaMortaJewelry will put a whole bevvy of bats on your buxom bosom. I can practically hear them chittering and flapping their wings as they whoosh away into the twilight. I wish I was one of them. I want to be free like the bat, but every time I sleep hanging upside down I wake up on the floor with a neck injury.
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Calamityware: Disastrous Dinner Plates

Calamityware Disastrous Dinner Plate Dishes
You know those old plates that your grandmother had? The ones with the cobalt blue patterns, with floral designs and landscapes? These are like those plates. Only cooler. Don Moyer creates this line of Calamityware dinner plates. They have all kinds of weird and disaster type themes like flying monkeys, a UFO attack, giant robots and giant sea monsters.

See grandma! My plates are way cooler! Even if I can’t feed myself cuz I’m an adult man-baby. Where’s my mac and cheese already?
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