Tag: display

Halloween Spell Books

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Halloween Spell Books
Ohhhhhh. Halloween Spell Books from HauntedMoonEmporium. I hope they have something that turns Necco Wafers into Kit-Kats cuz that really pisses me off. Reminds me of that one Halloween when I found a spell book by a hot cauldron and a pile of ashes with a witch hat on top. I remember it well:

*Re-reads the page.* Okay, it says to lay my hand flat and put a tootsie roll on each finger and on my palm. Alacashizz. Alacashat. By moonlight, by moonlight. The bat took a crap! *Blinding flash of light* Da fuq? *Turns my new tootsie roll hand around and inspects it.*

I was stuck with that damn candy hand for 2 years! Okay, I lied. It only lasted for like a week, cuz I kept sucking on it. Then my hand grew back. Witches. Who writes spells like that? Probably that weird homeless lady with the mole on her nose, who keeps stalking me and licking at her fingers. Something tells me our paths will cross again.
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Instant Cemetery Displays

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Instant Cemetery Display
Check this out! Boom! Instant Cemetery! Which beats dying and boom! Instant cemetery! These displays are ready to display for Halloween or just year long weirdness. 17 hand drawn tombstones for your mantle, with matching storage tin. They can be lit by candles or holiday lights. Pretty spooky.

Call me a gravedigger cuz I dig this all day long! Get one for yourself and play some creepy theremin music. The seller crafterella has several sets available.
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Dragon Fetus In A Jar

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Dragon Fetus In A Jar
I’m pretty sure this cool Dragon Fetus In A Jar is a prop from the un-filmed Dreamworks production called “How to Abort Your Dragon.” I think I read that they had budget problems. But this is the next best thing to seeing the movie.

Meet Cleetus, the awesome dragon fetus. He looks all cute and sleepy with his wings curled up close. But he’s not. He’s dead. Or she. I have no idea how to tell male and female dragons apart until one starts bitchin’ about how the other never does chores and stuff.

Demented Baby Doll Wall Art

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creepy doll wall art
Yeah, these pieces of Demented Baby Doll Wall Art are pretty nightmare inducing. You can hang your keys from their tiny freaky hands and use them as a coat rack or just stare at them and wig the hell out. I can picture these in my house and I ain’t scared at all.

*Opens the front door after a long day* Daddy’s home babies! *The nightmare creep babies all push through the walls with their freaky little hands reaching out and their heads protruding from the wall. A productive and well behaved nightmare army.* Baby hands grab my keys, while another pair grabs my coat. This is the life. I just can’t get too close to the wall. I must never let them collectively grab at me and pull me into their dark abyss beyond the walls. *Shudders* But seriously, it’s super sweet child labor without the illegality and guilt.
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Giant Inflatable Furry Black Cat

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giant black catMouse problem in your yard. Go for a nuclear solution and get this massive 8 foot inflatable cat. You will never see a mouse again! In fact, this giant cat will keep everything away from your yard. Maybe even trick or treaters. And that means more candy for you. I usually buy a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups and a bag of old lady candy. I keep the former for myself and give the latter out to all of the little ghouls and fools.

Haha. Suckers. Get the good stuff when you’re old enough to buy it yourself! That’s probably why the side of my house looks like a runny omelet and why my tree looks like a toilet paper dispenser from hell. It’s like the friggin’ Purge around here by like 8 o’clock.

Anyway, this giant and ferocious cat has a furry plush coat, glowing eyes, and an animated head that turns to look around. Get the furry version or a non-furry version. Video below.
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