Tag: ebay

The Screaming Face Of Bigfoot On A Rock

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bigfoot rockI don’t know. I think this $1,000.00 rock looks more like some kind of screaming Turtle-Man than Bigfoot. The seller thinks it looks like Bigfoot. It is proof that ancient civilizations had silly putty. And that Turtle-Man was a kick-ass hero.

Somebody put their silly putty against a cave painting that depicted one of Turtle-Man’s comic book issues and their silly putty dried because in those days silly putty had a life of just one day after the elder shaman created it. Oh and if you licked it, it would make the cave paintings come to life while you ran around naked and were eventually restrained.

One more image after the jump.
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Husband & Wife Haunt These Dolls In Unholy Matrimony

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

haunted dolls
A deceased Turkish husband and wife haunt this pair of creepy old dolls. According to Ebay Seller Newmoonchild, “They were procured and purchased in 1974 from a young girl and her uncle. They were handmade by the little girl’s father for her.” Already, there is a big hole in this story- the seller purchased them from the young girl whose father made them for her? Wouldn’t these dolls be a prized possession? Her father made them especially for her and is supposedly haunting one of the dolls.  Why would the girl want to sell them to some stranger?
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Weird Knife/Pipe Black Magic Ritual Tool

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Weird Knife/Pipe Black Magic Ritual ToolSometimes when you are smoking you just want to cut a b**ch. Apparently that’s the idea behind this weird devil/demon item, which is a combination smoking pipe and knife. This thing sold for $20 recently. The bowl of the pipe is between his legs and the other end of the pipe comes out his butt. So, you would basically be sucking demon-butt to get a hit. I can’t imagine that would taste like Marlboro. Well, at least you are keeping his colon clean.

This freaky demon has a single horn coming out of its head and animal pelt for hair. The top of the head is actually a knife that you can pull up to reveal a stainless steel blade. To top it all off, those teeth are REAL.

This thing belongs in the smoking room of some Secret Society where they can pass it back and forth and play sick games. And I ain’t talking twister and Yahtzee.

More images below.
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Venomous Vulture Raptor Chick Hatching From Egg

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Venomous Vulture Raptor ChickYou see this crazy-ass little monster here? This is why you either eat eggs or you stomp them into dust in the wild. Never collect eggs. Sooner or later, something is going to hatch out of that egg and kill you. Yes, even silly putty eggs! Not gonna go into that story here, but f**k silly putty! It should be called traumatic childhood trauma putty!

Anyway, if you like crazy stuff busting out from an egg and eating your face off, this Venomous Vulture Raptor Chick is for you. It is the work of an ebay taxidermist/mad scientist who never sleeps. And now, neither will you, if thing enters your home. This hatchling is made from western diamondback rattlesnake & domestic turkey chick parts. Cool. So basically the same stuff the FDA allows in Chicken Nuggets.

More images below.
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Naked And Flabby Hedgehog Dolls

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

naked hedgehogWhat the f**k am I looking at? At first I thought it was an adult version of another Grumpy Old Men movie. Turns out it is just some naked hedgehogs. Just another day surfing ebay, finding more stuff that I can’t un-see. Their junk is all sacky and flabby and I’m not even sure if they have their wieners tucked between their legs or not. They appear to be in just as much terror as we are over their existence. More shots below.
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