Toothy Void Necklace. That’s a great name for this orthodontia oddity. You got teeth with nothing but a void beyond. Not even a tongue. Unless it’s hiding back there in the dark. Kinda creepy. I better french kiss it to be sure. mmmm-aaa-hh-mmmmmm Sorry it took so long. Had to be sure. That thing has tongue alright. Not gonna lie, that was pretty enjoyable. I think we’re engaged now. Unless I’m moving too fast. Do you think I’m mis-reading things? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she was just using me to get her teeth cleaned? I’m so confused.
Tag: etsy
Coffin Jewelry Box
This Coffin Jewelry Box is the perfect way to bury, I mean store your spooky Gothic jewelry. You can say a eulogy every time you open it up and throw a piece inside, with hand on heart. I would put a creepy doll inside to scare whoever opened it, but that’s just me. It looks good enough for a small body, so it should be good enough for your jewelry.
Dragon’s Breath Victorian Ring
So that’s what Dragon’s Breath looks like. I pictured something more like dirty undies and onions, mixed with fire. Have a mint bro! This Dragon’s Breath Victorian Ring puts the breath of the dragon right on your finger. I think I can see it swirling around in there, along with the souls of everything it recently ate.
Pffft! I capture dragon’s breath every morning when I wake up facing the wife. One tic-tac gently slid into the cheek usually does the trick.
Read more “Dragon’s Breath Victorian Ring”
Human Heart Candle – Turn On Your Heart Light
Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom. That’s the sound this Human Heart Candle makes. What, yours is all pitter patter? Yeah, but did you have a six pack of Red Bull and a bag of Oreos? That’s what I thought. Uh-oh. Just started going boom boom boom. *Listens with my stethoscope against the heart. Heart puffs up and then contracts. Something smells funny. I look at the patient.* Did you just heart in here?
Have a heart and heart this hearty heart. I bet you don’t drive much Mr.Heart, cuz I can see you lack the blood vessels. Zing! I like you so much I’m gonna give you an award. Here have this plaque. Oh… Looks like you have enough already. Zing! Alright, don’t have a coronary!
Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls
It’s a little known fact that monsters, like birds, love to nest. Except that monsters are so freaky they like to nest in each other. Like these Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls. Who knows why monsters do what they do. It’s weird. It’s basically monster sex, which seems wrong. But what do I know? Anyhow, this cool set is going to look great on your desk or shelf.
It includes Frankenstein, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, The Creature, Mummy, and Wolfman. What’s up with the Phantom? I can think of lots of better places to be a phantom of than the opera. I would be phantom of the Burger King, phantom of the Playstation maybe… Still, it beats being phantom of the Oprah.
Read more “Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls”