Tag: etsy

Steampunk Gas Masks Cufflinks

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Steampunk Gas Masks Cufflinks
These Steampunk Gas Masks Cufflinks will come in handy during special occasions. You want cufflinks that say, “You farted and even my accessories know it.” I was gonna wear some classy cufflinks, but once I looked at the gas list guest list and saw how many serial farters were attending this little shindig, I knew I had to be prepared with the proper wrist accessories.

You’ll notice that they go well with the full sized gas mask I’m wearing on my head. You got a fan in here? You might want to turn that baby on and crank it up to 11. Smells like somebody wrapped a dead body in old cheese.
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Jewelry With Coffin Shaped Gemstones

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Jewelry With Coffin Shaped Gemstones
Etsy seller MordauntesCoffinGems sells all kinds of Jewelry With Coffin Shaped Gemstones. They are dead pretty! So pretty that you will want to bury them in your jewelry box. Fun fact: I want to be buried while suspended within a coffin shaped piece of amber, so future generations of humans that look like aliens can dig me up and bring me back to life by using my DNA. Which also stands for Do Not Aggravate me. I hope they don’t piss me off. They’ll create a whole park where I can roam and where visitors can watch me in my habitat. Yay! Jurassic Me!

But you know they’re just gonna do something to tick me off. Then I’ll have to run wild on all of the evolved alien folk. Those are gonna be some sweet times!

Full Gothic Tarot Card Set

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Full Gothic Tarot Card Set
This is one beautiful Full Gothic Tarot Card Set that you can download and print out. Then you can open your own tarot card reading shop and I’ll drop by to be your first customer. Spoiler alert: The fool card is gonna come out and then you and I are gonna argue over which one of us it is.

Well, I don’t know, who’s the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? I don’t have time for this foolishness. Oh yeah? Well make time cuz I booked a full reading! You mean you booked a fool reading! Yeah, that’s what I said- Why you-

Why do tarot card reading always end this way for me?

Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar

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Custom Coffin Doll Carriage Wet Bar
This Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar can be used for either thing. It can also be used for a real baby. I’m just guessing here, cuz no woman has bothered to have one with me. I see no reason why you can’t take your little monster out for a stroll in this thing and also have some room for your drinks on board. Imagine the concerned looks from other parents and the concerned calls to child services.

How many times do I have to tell you people that the kid is just sleeping? Great, now you woke him up? Do YOU wanna change his diaper. Maybe then you’ll believe me that he is alive. That ain’t embalming fluid! That’s grade A human baby s**t. Leave my baby and I alone and stop persecuting me for mylove of coffin shaped accessories!

H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks

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H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks
Keep your toe tentacles warm and cozy with these H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks. They are frightfully fashionable and creepily couture. You’re walking with an elder god now. How does that feel? Surprisingly soft? I thought so. My feet are also hearing the call of Cthulhu, so maybe I’ll give them a try. Just call me H.P. Love-Comfort. I also go by H.P. Love-Pizza and H.P. Love French Fries.