Tag: etsy

Gold Gilded Bat Necklace

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Gold Gilded Bat Necklace
Sweet! A Gold Gilded Bat Necklace. I’ve read all of the folklore, researched every legend surrounding this artifact. Now it’s mine. *Moves my hands like Indy trying to judge the weight of the golden idol.* OW! Damnit! Hurt my hand reaching into the screen, trying to snatch it.

Seriously though, the legend of the Gold Gilded Bat Necklace goes way back to Bab-Bologna-ian times. It was first worn by Bertha Batty Butt, bat-nosed Queen of a long forgotten dynasty. She ruled with an iron fist, a big butt and an army of bats, who also had big butts. It impaired flight. Probably why her rule was so short.

See, it’s not always about me being stupid. Sometimes you learn stuff.

Fashionably Creepy: Acid Washed Denim Bag With Panda

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KPop Kawaii Mori Girl Boho Bag
Sure. Why not accessorize with stuffed animals? This is an Acid Washed Denim Bag With Panda. Is the Panda also acid washed? I have no idea. Goes good with that weird snakeskin top. Reminds me of that time I was all like, “Mom, can I have some acid washed jeans? It’s what the hip kids are wearing. Can I mom? Can I? Please? You suck mom.” And with that she gave in, went into the garage, came out with a bottle of acid, ripped the jeans off me, threw them in the washer and upended the bottle in behind them.

Five minutes later, holding up the tattered, ashen and smoky rags that used to be jeans, “Now leave me alone, my soaps are on.” So I did. I gotta give her credit, mom always got things done after that mid-morning happy hour.

Skeleton Hand Ring

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skeleton hand ring
Chicks be like “When ya gonna commit and make an honest woman out of me?” and I’m all like, “If you want a ring, I’ll dial your number.” Then I just walk away. Nah. I wish I was cool like that. No girl girl is asking me to put a ring around her finger. But if they did, I would give them this cool Skeleton Hand Ring, cuz it probably feels all creepy, like you have a baby constantly clutching your finger. A tiny bony baby, with skulls for knuckles.

Boom! There’s my next business idea. Skeleton Brass knuckles for babies. I’ll call my line of accessories Badass Baby. No, make that Bad(Powdered-Ass) Baby. Cuz their butts are always powdered.

Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin

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Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin
Damn. That is one fancy funeral for a dead rat. This Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin makes a nice and morbid decoration. You know what his ghost said when it realized it was dead? Oh rats!

Sssshhhhhhhh!

Sorry. Gotta be respectful of all the other mourners here to pay their respects. Everybody’s leaving cubes of cheese in the casket. Man, the undertaker must have been drunk. I’ve seen better preserved Twinkies after they’ve been left outside for a month.

Skull Leggings

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

skull leggings
Holy Coca-Skulla those are some nice legs. Not bony at all, which is surprising when you consider those fine Skull leggings. Is it hot in here or is it just me? Are you hot blooded, check it and see. Do you got a femur of a hundred and three? See what I did there? That was a little classic rock humor.

Foreigner right?

No, I was born here. zing! Anyway, I’m gonna make like the blogging DJ I am and leave ya with a classic from The Kinks.

I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and your leggings are full of skull-las
S-K-U-L-L Skull-las.

She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
I asked her name and in a dark brown voice she said, “Skull-la”
S-K-U-L-L Skull-la, ska ska ska ska Skull-la….