Tag: fun

SPAM Recipes Playing Cards

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http://www.perpetualkid.com/spam-recipes-playing-cards.aspx
SPAM. The magical meat. The more on your plate, the warmer your seat. These SPAM playing cards have recipes on them, so you and the rest of the guys can all make toxic SPAM farts on Poker night while eating SPAM treats.

I got a full house, “SPAM and Pasta Nachos” high.

Royal Flush here, “Baked Apples with SPAM King” is high.

What do you have Bob?

*Bob covers his mouth and runs for the bathroom*

Bob’s got diarrhea.

Me too, but I ain’t whining about it. Hand me another slice of that Lemon SPAM cake would you? These are the best cards ever!

The Art Of Eating Through The Zombie Apocalypse

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art of eating through the zombie apocalypse
This book is called The Art of Eating through the Zombie Apocalypse. When the zombie apocalypse happens, we still have to eat, even if all we have left are those M & M’s you found behind the couch, coated in cat hair and ear wax.

This book from Lauren Wilson is part cookbook and part culinary field guide. It has over 80 recipes with food survival tips and dozens of diagrams that show you how to scavenge, forage, and improvise your way to tasty food while walking corpses do their best to kill you.

Weird Animal Masks

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creepy animal masks
This fall. The Barnyard Boys are back! This is gonna be the heist of a lifetime. Starring Pauly the Pigeon as Peckerhead Paulsy, Charlie Chickensnitch as Cluck Norris and the Horsehead of the Apocalypse as himself. Rated R for sex and violence and drugs and animal on animal crime in the seedy underbelly of Barnyard City.

That’s the movie I would make with these sweet weird animal masks. Either that or you know, just make an ass out of myself in public, but I’ve never needed a mask for that.

Mythical Creature Dioramas

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mythical creature diorama chupacabra
These mythical creature dioramas from Etsy seller PearsonMaron are a fun way to celebrate El Chupacabra, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. These fun and cartoony scenes make these terrifying creatures a little friendlier. I’m sure that Chupacabra is not going to suck all of the blood from that goat. He’s just gonna- Oh, who am I kidding? He is going to rip that goat a new throat-hole and then go back to the underground lab that genetically spawned him.

These creatures scare me to death. The other day I visited a petting zoo and spotted some hoof prints in the snow and I knew that either a Chupacabra or a demon was on the loose.

Those were just baby goat tracks.

Really? Then how do you explain the fact that they were FOLLOWING that baby goat from behind? I never did see it again. It’s the same way I know when a Bigfoot is following me. His tracks are always leading right TO ME. I am so close to cracking this conspiracy.
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Knightly Sword Hilted Umbrella

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knightly sword
Whoa! This Knightly Sword Hilted Umbrella shall be my Excalibur. One land. One King. With this sword I’ll have a castle, a wizard named Merlin to help me, a beautiful lady of the lake all naked and stuff, a round table, and me and my knights will have some sweet adventures in the countryside. I won’t even have to free Excalibur from a rock.

Nah. I’ll probably just use this Knightly Sword Hilted Umbrella to look super cool in or out of the rain. Keep it sheathed on my back as I do a cool-guy walk down the street. Not sure why those cops are following me. Is that guy radioing for backup? Tasers are out now. Not good. Merlin, I call on your power!
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