This monster mask is all teeth. Teeth going every which way but loose. That was a great movie. Right turn Clyde. *Swings arm out. BAM.* Oh damn. Sorry Grandma. But you know better than to sneak up on me when I’m writing a blog post. You needed a nap anyway. I apologize to whatever channel that is on the TV. You just lost your last Matlock viewer.
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Tag: gross
Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy
Some toys will make your kids grow up to be doctors or carpenters, or even, god forbid, lawyers. Then some toys, like this Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy will make your kid grow up to be…something else. I’m thinking something between a mad scientist and a serial killer.
Don’t believe me? Check out the video of this toy in action below. Complete with creepy mad scientist guy urging the kids to eat the crazy and nasty toy-food. Perform an autopsy kids. Then eat up. We can’t leave any evidence behind for Mulder and Scully to find after all. Check out how freaky this thing is.
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Anatomical Sleeping Bag
I love this Anatomical Sleeping Bag, but I toss and turn a lot, so I’m afraid of punching my kidneys and kicking my intestines all night long. On the other hand this might be a helpful diagram for those nights when aliens abduct you. You can’t sue those dudes for malpractice.
It is literally a body bag. I hope it buzzes when they touch it with tweezers. That damn funny bone always gets you.
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Garbage Pail Kids As Adults
Damn. Garbage Pail Kids is real peeps! My wife is all like, “Yeah I know. I’m living with one.” And I’m all like, atom bomb exploding from the head. St. Louis-based photographer Brandon Voges and digital imaging artist Jordan Gaunce worked together to create these real life GPK. I mean they could have just sent a photographer to my house, but whatevs.
These are the Garbage Pail Kids as adults, thirty years later. Pretty cool. GPK. It’s a lifestyle baby! You just can’t stick me on the fridge.
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Unreal Upchuck Owl Skeleton Kit
Hey, you wanna learn some science? Gather round kids and experience the wonder and majesty that is Owl barf. This Unreal Upchuck Owl Skeleton Kit will teach you all about the fact that owls eat other living things. And then puke their bones back up. Ain’t life beautiful?
Your kids will experience the thrill of dissecting owl puke and rebuilding skeletons. Apparently it’s all hypoallergenic and sanitary. As sanitary as owl puke can be. But first- *BWHOOOAAAAA* Sorry kids. As you can see, I had skittles and a bucket of KFC for lunch. As you can see, I like our owl friends am not afraid to eat the bones. Reconstruct this bucket of KFC and I’ll know you are ready for owl puke.
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