Holy Jesus! Now I know why everyone is so scared of the bogeyman. He really is full of boogers. Nasty, slimy egg boogers. This Bogeyman Egg Separator will make you want to skip breakfast all together. He looks like an old man with a severe case of the flu. No really. Like he has a whole briefcase marked “flu” on the outside, where he keeps his ebola.
That’s not a one tissue drip. That’s a go through the whole kleenex box and spray some lysol up your honker drip. You nasty old man!
This Zombie Hand Drain Stopper is perfect if you like your bath water red. Which I do. Hey, nothing gives you soft skin and a warm glow like soaking in a bath of Hi-C fruit punch and Cherry Kool-Aid. Diabetes. You’re soaking in it.
You think this hand will massage my feet and tickle me while I ladle sugar drinks all over myself? Nevermind. Just saw those fingernails. Looks like we have some fungus among us. I know you’re already dead and all, so would it kill you to get a manicure? No. No it wouldn’t.
Pee and Poo. They’re a stinky bowl of best buds. Aren’t these Pee & Poo Plush Dolls cute? Hug ’em, squeeze ’em, rub ’em, against each other and see what rubs off. If they are anything like the real thing, you’ll play with the pee several times a day and be lucky to see poo once every other and he’ll make it really difficult for you to let him go.
It’s the only acceptable way to play with pee and poo, so go for it. All of your other toys will be disgusted.
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See, this is why I don’t need any stress in my life. Worry Warts. I had no idea these things were real. Now I know. It’s not the questionable women from questionable places that I sleep with giving me those weird bumps. It’s the WORRYING about what they might give me that gives me those bumps. These guys are a dead ringer for the bumps I got after picking up that female mechanic last week. Right down to the 3 hairs on their head.
She was a mechanic?
Yeah, a tranny. Works on transmissions and stuff. Duh!
Road kill. There’s them that kills ’em and keeps on driving and them that eat’s ’em and thanks ’em for dyin’! Get yourself a snugly and cuddly creature who has been smooshed into a pancake with it’s guts sticking out. I’m getting one of these Road Kill Toys for my nephew. It’s educational. It will teach him to look twice before crossing the street. And make him cry.
These already-been-killed stuffed animals feature zipped sides that let you pack their spilled organs back in. Plus each one comes in its own clear plastic body bag. Nice!
Read more “Road Kill Toys: They’re In A Better Place Now”