Black Cat Felted Scarf

Black Cat Felted Scarf
This Black Cat Felted Scarf looks like someone pumped Mr. Whiskers up cartoon style with a bicycle pump and popped him with a pin, then shrugged and just draped it around their neck.

Don’t get me wrong, it looks awesome and kind of evil, but also very deflated and traumatized. It looks like it even has whiskers.

Winter is coming. Don’t be caught out in the cold without Mr. Pussums around your neck. That’s what my mom used to say anyway. Which is why I have so many cat scratches around my neck and why my hat rack has a cat house on top.

Custom Painted Skeleton Guitar

painted skeleton guitar
This Custom Painted Skeleton Guitar is pretty cool. Bands and singers that use this? Well, there’s PElvis Presley of course. Bone Thugs N Harmony. Spinal Tap. Just to name a few. Pretty awesome.

But what really freaks me out is the second image below. It’s like a friggin’ I Spy game. Everytime I thought I spotted everything, I found something else. Would it kill ya to clean up when we come over? I spy with my little eye:

A ghost child or apparition on the left.
A coffin bookcase.
A bust with one arm.
A tan dog’s feet.
A black dog asleep. (Are they both just one big dog?)
A used tissue.
Oh and a skeleton guitar.

Play along in the comments. Did I miss anything?
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The Watermelon Skirt: Hey, Nice Be-Rind

watermelon skirt
I’ve never seen a pair of watermelons crawling through the grass like that. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Gallagher. These watermelons look nice and ripe and have super nice rinds. Wait, it’s a female! Wearing a watermelon skirt. Good thing you got up. Slithering through the grass like that, your rump looked like two ripe melons walking down the aisle.

I still stand by what I said. You have a nice be-rind. And that’s coming from a guy who prefers the seedless variety.

Mad Science Brain Cap

Mad Science Brain Cap
Put your thinking cap on. For real. This Mad Science Brain Cap makes it look like Dr. Frankenstein has been hard at work floggin’ your noggin. Technically it’s called the “The prefrontal cortex interference cap”, or PCIC, but that’s too many fancy words in a row for me. I just call it a “head case”, but that’s just me lashing out because that’s what I get called.

Words hurt people. If one more person looks at my fat man gut and asks me if I’m pregnant, Imma pee on ’em and tell ’em my water broke!
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Skeleton Restroom Door Cover

Skeleton Restroom Door Cover
We’ve all been there. You’re minding your own business, reading the paper, trying to lay some pipeline when somebody opens the door. Hey. What the hell! That’s how this skeleton feels. The Skeleton Restroom Door Cover captures all of the excitement of skeletons pooping and lets you relive the scene all day long.

Hmmm. That headline reads, “Peeping Tom on the loose.” I think they mean this guy.