Tag: halloween

Nuclear Family Nesting Dolls: Mutated Matryoshkas

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mutant nuclear family matryoshka nesting dolls
This menagerie of mutant Matryoshkas look murderous and malevolent. Gotta be honest. Not even sure I spelled matryoshka right. Spell check isn’t helping. It does have “try” in it, so as long as you try, that’s all that counts.

These five nesting dolls are a real nuclear family. They have the radiation, falling out teeth, blisters and the odd tentacle or two to prove it too. I haven’t seen a family so ugly since I made my own. Not now junior, daddy’s working. Here’s a pork chop. The dog will play with you now.
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Scary Stilettos And Horror Heels

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horror movie shoes
Etsy seller BabaRegali makes all kinds of custom high heels, but the best are the ones based on horror movies. There’s Chuckie, Friday The 13th, Freddy Kreuger and more. Below are just a few samples of their work, which combines the horror of movies with the horror of wearing high heels. Not that I would know anything about that.

Shut up, it was just that one time! I only put them on to stomp a few bugs. I just forgot I was wearing them for a few hours, that’s all. The nightgown was to protect me from mosquitoes! They are bad this time of year. The bra? Yeah that was all me just being a perv. I’ll own that one.
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Wolf Coat

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silver wolf costume
This Wolf Coat simulates what happened to me last week. There was a full moon and I transformed and started howling like crazy until they locked me up in a cage and waited for me to transform back to my pasty naked self in the morning. The next day the sheriff was all like, “The moon wasn’t even full last night.”

I was all like, “Sheriff, you gotta do something about those kids mooning people. Between that and my wife bending over, I never get any damn peace! Did you bring my clothes and 3 rotisserie chickens like I asked?”

Pac-Man Party Bra And Tutu

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Pac-Man Party Bra
It’s always a party with the Pac-Man Party Bra And Tutu. A pizza bra will get the party started, but a bra featuring the yellow dot muncher himself? That keeps the party going all night long. Assuming that your nipples are power pellets anyway. If you feel that your nipples have what it takes to power this little yellow freak and let him chase ghosts around your boobs all night, order yours today.

Pac-Man fever makes you hot(Also drives you crazy). So if you are afflicted with this retro 80s ailment, this is the perfect outfit. It’s sure to diffuse the heat, while looking awesome. Don’t wear a Space Invaders bra or an Asteroid bra, unless you want guys hitting on you all night. By “hitting on”, I mean that I’ll be in the corner making pew pew pew noises, pointing my finger gun at your chest, trying to get the high score.
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6 Foot Tall Nosferatu Vampire Figure

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nosferatu figure
Nosferatu, why don’t you come to your senses? You been out ridin’ fences for so long now… This 6 Foot Tall Nosferatu Vampire Figure scares the hell out of me. He looks like some squirrels nibbled on his ears. Apparently those glass eyes light up when you plug a 9-volt battery in, insuring nightmares for all. Only $700.

Also, check out those bags under his eyes. Dude needs more sleep. This is exactly what you will look like with this crazy freaky thing in your home. Say goodbye to sleep forever. Stop looking at me! I feel like he’s gonna make ferret-sucking type noises with those teeth.
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