Tag: hand

Well Preserved Thieving Elf Hand With Coin

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

elf handHow about a lil bit o’ the elf what thieved ya? What doya say Govner?

In the mid 19th century, many Northern European homes had issues with elves, the epidemic was not dissimilar to the infestation of rats or mice that many homes endure today. In the autumn if 1877, an impoverish farmer noticed his small savings of coins were rapidly dwindling despite the fact that he’d spent none of it. Fed up, he set a trap, days later he caught a small elf. As punishment for stealing his coins the old farmer lobbed off the creatures hand, still holding the man’s stolen coin. Countless attempts have been made to remove the coin but it remains today, still clutched in the grasp of the creature severed limb.

So I says to him…I don’t right know if at was the elf what thieved me…but he ad a hand init!
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Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit

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pet zombie garden kitI always wanted to grow my own zombie. Now I can thanks to this Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit. I can’t wait to grow him real big and cut off his head! Why else ya gonna grow a zombie? It’s all about practice for the zombie apocalypse.

Growing a zombie has gotta work out better than that time I bought that Batman figure that was supposed to grow six times it’s size. I took it out of the package and waited. Nothing. DID NOT grow. Just stood there being a weenie sized Batman. So I got pissed off and flushed it down the toilet.

Big mistake. Two hours later I hear this gurgling and groaning sound like two epic foes are fighting deep inside the pipes. Next thing you know the toilet explodes and Batman bursts out, all intertwined with Clayface as they battle.

Long story short, that was poo, not Clayface. And I really should read instructions. *Facepalm* He grows in Water! That’s how I acquired my limited edition poo armored Batman figure with authentic Gotham sewer scent.
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Realistic Hand Lamp Rockin’ A Kung-Fu Grip

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

hand lampLook at all of the detail on this very literal “hand lamp”. It has pores and even little hairs. I’m pretty sure there are hairs on the palm too, since it is rocking that manly grip so tight. The seller should have called it “The Handy.”

It will take a real handy dude to install this light fixture. I’m just not sure if they take on hand jobs like that. Thank you. I’ll be here all week, wondering why I’m still single. It may be my choice of interior lighting.

Click through for more images.
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Hammer Horror ‘Thing’ Hand Candle: It Bleeds As It Burns….

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Hammer horror thing hand candleRemember the old Hammer Horror movies? How about The Addams Family? Remember stuff like creepy hands creeping all over the place and strangling people, flipping the bird and whatnot? Well, here is a genuine “Thing” candle. It’s molded from a real human hand and even bleeds while it burns. Only $51.54 from Etsy.

Check out more images below.
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Freaky High Five: Frankenhand

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FrankenhandIt’s Frankenhand. Give me five. Now down low. You’re too slow. Talk to the Frankenhand, cuz the Franken-face doesn’t understand! This $79 monster hand from Etsy seller StarvedRavenMad wants to be your new best friend. His mouth is all stitched up, so he won’t talk much. Just kinda look at you with those sad eyes, wishing he could eat.

As you can see, he makes a great jewelry holder. And if your spouse doesn’t like it, they can always put a glove on it. Click through to see more images.
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