Terrifying Hand-Knitted Clown Balaclava

knitted clown mask
This Terrifying Clown Balaclava is some pretty intense knitting. Yo, quit clowning around and take that thing off. I don’t like the way you’re staring at me. Well, say something! Don’t just stand there staring at me and looking all menacing and stuff. I was having a nice relaxing, clown-free day until all this. Uh. What’s with that knife? I’m assuming you are just playing some real life Fruit Ninja, but since I don’t see any other fruit, this lemon is out of here. If you prefer to put on your clown face by using good old fashioned makeup rather than donning a Clown Balaclava, check out this cool Killer Clown Makeup Brush Holder. Because you shouldn’t clown around with your clown face. You have to take that seriously if you’re in the clown game. Your face is your money shot. wait- I mean… Nevermind.

Click through for a bonus pic in which Stephen King endorses this mask. And finds Waldo! A very cute Waldo. I think she is the knitter. Also, I just learned that knitting is not the act of removing nits from some dirty kid’s hair. Or at least it’s not only that. Who knew? You learn something new every day.
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Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures

beavis butthead
Heh heh. Heh heh. This sucks. These Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures are all like, lifelike and stuff.

Yeah! Yeah! Heh heh. Those guys look creepy. Heh. They look familiar. Fire! Fire! I am cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!

Sit these guys down in your living room, in front of your TV, and just watch the idiotic magic happen. Unless of course you have kids. In that case, just sit back and watch your own idiots pick their noses and watch TV. I know I gave my parents hours of entertainment. These sculptures are ultra realistic, right down to the braces and bad acne. For $8,300.00 you can have MTV induced nightmares forever. I’m not sure which one scares me more.
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Horrifying Pop Culture Icon Prints

pop art heroes
These nightmarish art prints from Etsy seller WednesdayWolf feature all kinds of pop culture icons as seen through an acid trip lens. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man? Yeah, maybe. If hell is his current neighborhood! Mario and Luigi? Yeah, they’ll fix your pipes. probably work you over with some wrenches too and tie you up and leave you in the tub.

Oh, look. It’s the 10th Doctor. He’ll take you for a ride in his TARDIS and eat your soul, then throw your lifeless body into space to be used as a Dalek speed-bump. Yeah. Somehow I remember these characters being a whole lot less nightmare inducing.

Click through for more.
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Monster Mirror Guarantees That You Will Cut Yourself While Shaving

monster mirrorMirror mirror on the wall, who is the fugliest of all? You are. That’s who. This mirror demands blood, since it will make you so nervous that you constantly cut yourself while shaving, making a blood sacrifice down the drain every damn day. The only way to beat it is to grow a beard!

Ha! Beaten at your own evil game! How does that feel? Well, yeah, I was so nervous when I trimmed my beard last time that I also trimmed all of the fuzz off my new winter sweater and gave myself a mohawk, but still. I win.

These Vintage Doll Planters Are Totally Creepy

creepy doll planter
Is that a Cthulhu parasite hatching out of that doll’s head? Nah. Well maybe. It’s a plant. And it’s a good reminder that plants can kill. These terrifying planters come from Etsy seller EarthSeaWarrior, who likes to make creepy things protrude from bodies.

You can find all kinds of creeptastic doll planters in their shop. I hope they use a life-sized mannequin next just so I can call it Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo With Cthulu. Check out some bonus shots below of a headless flapper with a Cthulhu-Rhoid and a poo faced doll baby sucking it’s own tentacles.
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