Headless Teddy Bear Lamp

teddy bear lampThis is the latest in decapitated teddy bear decor for your kids room. It connects via USB with plug adapters and gives off a soft warm glow that is sure to give your little one nightmares.

Every night your little bundle of nerves will wake up screaming and you will rush in the room to find a new decapitated stuffed animal from his collection. You’ll ask him about it and he will tell you from trembling lips that they are the nightly sacrifice that his master demands. And that he is down to only one stuffed animal left on the shelf…

I should know. That boy was me. Still have that lamp. It’s why I buy stuffed animals in bulk. It’s also why my backyard is full of stuffed torsos with no heads.
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Disturbing Doll Head Candleholder Centerpiece

doll head centerpieceHow’s this for a creepy centerpiece? Only on Etsy could you stick a doll’s head between two candles and call it a centerpiece. Maybe for dinner in hell. If you ever find yourself in the fiery depths of hades, you are sure to see this centerpiece on some table so that the likes of Hitler and Josef Mengele can admire it as they eat bowl after steaming bowl of s**t soup for all eternity.

I for one don’t need any demented Toddlers and Tiaras on my dinner table. Can you imagine the foul demons this thing would summon when lit up? Now I’m gonna have nightmares.
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Avatar Sequel Details Leak: It’s All About Avatar Babies!

avatar reborn babyNah. No news to report. I just like to make a big deal of things when I see a crazy-weird and creepy little Avatar baby, who looks like he will grow up to rip the flesh off my nerdy skeletal frame. It is a reborn doll, meaning that an artist created it to look scary real and keep me awake at night. He’s available on Etsy for $145. from lunatoonyweeones. Click through for more images of the artist’s mad scientist-type creations.

Ahhh. Isn’t he cute? Who’s the cute little baby Na’vi? Who’s the cutest wittle Na’vi? I got your nose. Got your nose. HOLY EFFIN JAMES T. KIRK CAMERON, HE BIT MY THUMB OFF! SOMEBODY GET HIM TO BURP IT UP! I AM SO RAPING YOUR PLANET FOR RESOURCES!
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Oh My Glob!: Nightmare Adventure Time Prints

nightmare adventure timeEtsy seller akatayanagi is offering four nightmarish Adventure Time prints for $23. Just don’t blame me when you get nightmares about Finn and Jake coming to eat you alive.

You get Princess Bubblegum looking how she probably really looks inside, Evil Finn and Jake, Marceline and a Gingerbread dude. No LSP? I demand an evil Lumpy Space Princess.

Click through for the rest.
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Pickles The Poltergeist Clown

picklesThis clown is named Pickles. The first time I went to write up this article, I ended up crying in the corner, pulling my hair out. I don’t traumatize easy, but here’s the Dill, Pickles is creepy. Look at that image. He is clown-napping that kid. Turns out Pickles has a history of stalking, then clown-napping dolls of little children. The eBay seller Swankykitty explains:

Pickles the clown has been causing a bit of mayhem in the Doll House that Swanky built. All the babies have been complaining about his incessant doll-napper tendencies and the suggestion has been made more than once that maybe Pickles needs to move to a home of dolls more like himself.

I bought this doll initially because it made me laugh that he looked like Micheal Jackson if Micheal Jackson would have dressed as a clown.

Click through for more Pickle mayhem, where you can see him being super creepy, hiding under the beds of other dolls and waiting to snatch them up.
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