Tag: novelty

Raven Walking People On A Leash

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Raven Walking People On A Leash
Let this be a cautionary tale. Within 100 years it will be the giant ravens, not the robots who will take over. That’s when we will see scenes like this Raven Walking People On A Leash. It will probably carry a bag and scoop to pick up our poop. I don’t know about you, but I plan on leaving huge steaming piles.Hey, we all resist however we can. There’s no right way to win this fight.

If I am well taken care of and fed and petted softly, and given treats, that could go a long way toward distracting these beasts. Doesn’t mean I’m a traitor. So what if I am so well behaved that I’m let out of my cage more often than you? Just doing my part. I guess what I’m saying is that I welcome our new Raven overlords.

Gets in cage right now and waits for the Raven apocalypse. I’m ready for my walkies!
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Jewish Outfit For Your Dog: Oy Vey

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Jewish Outfit For Your Dog
This Jewish Outfit For Your Dog is perfect for your Jewish dog. Just make sure you check your dog’s religion first. You don’t want to get this for your Catholic dog. It’s perfect for your dogs Pup Mitzvah.

Hey, you get to practice your religion, why shouldn’t dogs be able to practice theirs? Dogs are about more than just sniffing butts to say hello and humping legs to also say hello, you know. Geesh, throw your dog a bone and give him some religious freedom already. God is just dog spelled backwards ya know. I have to say these dogs sure know how to rock this outfit. The pair in the middle look sad that they can’t wear it.

Jason Voorhees Plush Chi Chi Chi Ha Ha Ha

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Jason Voorhees Plush Chi Chi Chi Ha Ha Ha
Cuddle up with this Jason Voorhees plush if you want, but don’t take your eyes off of him. He’s kind of adorable. For a serial killer. Those people deserved it anyway. If only he could kill bad actors in OTHER movies! Hopefully he won’t go crazy on Friday the 13th and kill everyone you love.

Maybe you can watch the movies together and get him to give you some commentary. Hey, I don’t care what you two do. I don’t judge. Unlike some people who judge others by going around and slashing them to death. If you do buy this, get him a little plush therapist for God’s sake.

Santa Clops Ornament

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Santa Clops Ornament
You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I’m telling you why. Santa Clops is coming to town. He’s making a list. And checking it twice. He has to check it twice, he only has one eye. Which explains why my gifts are never under the tree and why I wake up on Christmas morning to find half my sh*t broken. His depth perception sucks. Plus he’s a drunk. Either that or he just likes taking a dump in the fireplace.

If you like your Santa ornaments ugly and mutated, this blown glass ornament from Middle of Beyond is for you.

via The Awesomer

Gothic Horror Chess Set

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Gothic Horror Chess Set
Who knows how to play chess? Not me. I usually just bluff my way through a few rounds and then flip the table, knocking all the pieces down as I yell Checkmate. Then I walk away the clear winner cuz I didn’t waste two hours playing a nerd game. Even though I usually go home and play with action figures.

But if you have to play brainiac nerd games, this Gothic Horror Chess Set should do the trick. It features Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, and Zombies. Oh and two nerds on either side of the board. I’m sorry. I’m just jealous cuz my sister sank my battleship then beat me at Connect Four.

Where?

There, diagonally!