Tag: octopus

Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals

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Kraken tentacles wall decal
Hey, what’s Kraken? These Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals, that’s what? It wants to give you a big hug, then pull you down to drown in the murky depths. Kind of like my Aunt Louise always did, except she’ll pinch your cheeks first, then pull you in for a hug so you can suffocate in her massive bosoms. That might not have been so bad, but Aunt Louise used to be Aunt Louie. I had an awkward childhood.

At family get-togethers my dad would hold him/her back at the door, then yell, “Unleash the Kraken!” and all the kids would run. I was always too slow.
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Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles

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Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles
Bring the terror of the deep to your desk or coffee table with these cool Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles. It came from the deep and now you are in the deep. Caca that is. This 6 piece sculpture consists of 3 different sized tentacles and accompanying wave breaks. They look downright terrifying.

I’ll put them on my table, but if it reaches for my potato chips, I’m laying the smack down. It better not get all touchy feely on me when I’m watching TV. Just cuz you’re made of felt doesn’t mean I’m gonna get felt up. Behave.

Sarah Squid Seems Sad

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Sarah Squid Seems Sad
Sarah Squid Seems Sad. Maybe she’s mad, I can’t tell. I’ll say this. She’s well dressed for her period. No, I just mean she’s dressed in period clothing. Not saying it’s that time of the month. Although, judging from that grumpy look… Am I right guys?

*Gets slapped by a suckered tentacle and knocked to the ground.* No, I’m just saying that style is period appropriate, you know- *Smack. Gets face full of squid ink.* Hey that ink is red. You really are- *Smack!* Staying down this time ma’am.
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Crazy Baby Octo-Fetus

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Crazy Baby Octo-Fetus
Octo-Fetus doesn’t need us. It just wants the human race out of it’s fetus face.

Here is the sonogram of your new baby. Would you like to know the baby’s sex?

*Stares with mouth hanging open. Shuts mouth with hand. Turns to wife.*

You told me you and Cthulhu were just friends. That explains the day I came home early to find his tentacles all over you. He’s a licensed masseuse you said. Didn’t put one tentacle where it didn’t belong you said. Well, he put something somewhere.
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Octo-Hat With Tentacles

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Octo-Hat With Tentacles
Need a cool hat that has style? Don’t get your panties in a bunch, but do get your tentacles in a bunch with the Octo-Hat. It will give you gorgeous long tentacle locks that you will want to curl and tease. The tentacles double a scarf. I wonder if the tentacles have suckers, cuz I don’t want no octo-hickeys on my neck.  Am I the only one who finds the eyes on this thing super grumpy?

Don’t be an Octo-puss. Get an Octo-Hat.
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