Barbie is a role model for anorexic girls everywhere. The doll has probably done young girls more harm than a million Miley Cyrus’ twerking ever could. That’s why it would be awesome if the Borg assimilated her. Resistance is futile b*tch. Go ahead and run into your Malibu beach house. They will find you and you will become part of the collective.
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Tag: ooak
Holy Jesus Reese’s Pieces
You know him, you love him. He goes by the name Jeebus, Jesus, Son of God, the almighty, the Nemesis from Nazareth and many more. He has turned water into wine, busted up gambling establishments, got sold out for 30 pieces of silver, died for your sins, then scanned his own image on his blankey when woke and moved a great big rock, saying tada I’m resurrected. Aren’t I fabulous? How much has changed while I slept? I see sandals are still in fashion. Judas, you scamp. I’m going to have a stern word for you. I am going to pinch you so hard!
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This Handbag Takes Things Literally, Is also Handmade
It’s a handbag. It’s handmade. It’s also very handy. No wonder it is full of hands. Brightly colored hands with paint on them. As if this handbag had rolled over a hundred children who were finger-painting pretty flowers and consumed them for all eternity in this bag.
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Attack Of The Killer Jar Heads
Etsy seller MindsEyeCreation makes all kinds of scary and creepy stuff. This evil hell spawn which looks like an amalgamation of all of my ex-wives is called a jar head. Not because he’s a marine, but because he actually has a jar head.
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Infector Gadget May Be The Creepiest And Coolest Action Figure Ever
Do do do do do Infector Gadget do do do do do doo doo! This nasty little zombie freak will be the hottest(and nastiest creepy) action figure this year. Only $50. He is 8 inches of pure WTF awesomeness. Coincidentally that’s what I usually say to the ladies, but that always ends in laughter, followed by a debate about whether you can include the taint in the measurement. After that it’s just tears and a bucket of ice cream for me.
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