Tag: set

Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props

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Disney Haunted Mansion dining table props
I’ve never been to your fancy Disneyland or Disney World. Probably because your parents were cooler than mine. So I have no idea what all the fuss is over the Haunted Mansion, but judging by these Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props, the ghosts are eating better than I am.

I’m gonna set the table and wait for the ghosts. Then when they come, me and Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and the rest of the Ghostbusters are gonna let them have it. I’ll probably get slimed. I typed “slimmed” at first, but that ain’t happening. If ghosts caused weight loss, Elvira would be the Jenny Craig spokesperson holding meetings at haunted houses.
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Vino De Nosferatu Decanter and Glasses

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Nosferatu Decanter
This Vino De Nosferatu Decanter and Glasses set will let you have a drink with Dracula. Have a nip with Nosferatu. You get free matching table accessories too. Raise a toast. You’ll be Vlad you did. Eck! Your blood tastes terrible. Why do you have to be so negative?

This set looks pretty cool. Way to luxurious and rich for my blood. Which tastes terrible by the way. So don’t invite me over. My blood is a terrible vintage.
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Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs

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Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs
Check out these cool Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs. After you’ve been married a few years, this is how you see each other anyway, so you might as well get them. Trust me, I was married for like 20 years one summer.

Now you can have his and hers monster mugs. Which won’t last long cuz she’ll just throw hers at you one morning and then blame you for it, then break your own cup to teach you a lesson. Then you are back to square one with no monster mugs. That’s just love. Also, possibly a lack of medication.
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Bigfoot Beer Glasses

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Bigfoot Beer Glasses
Get a set of 2 Bigfoot Beer Glasses. That way you can do like I do. Drink one and leave one out on the back porch for Bigfoot. Pro tip: He likes a stout ale. You pour anything else for him and you’ll be cleaning thrown feces off the back deck for a week. He’s such a baby!

Then if you don’t give him a beer at all he’s all like, I’m just gonna walk around all night grunting outside of your window and leave huge footprints while I whine like a wuss.

The intervention is next week. I still have to order the tranquilizer darts and body armor.

I Got Brain Skull Candle Holder Set

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Brain Skull Candle Holder Set
This I Got Brain Skull Candle Holder Set lets you burn brains as candles, while inside of skulls. Hey I got brain too. Nah. I lied. I can’t brain today. I can barely even adult.

The seller’s name is Brainfart55. Is that your ask or your IQ? Hahahahaha. Both? Cool. Nah. I kid, I kid. Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to draw a hot bath and burn some brain candles.

*Falls asleep in the tub*

Wakes up to see all of the gooey brain mass dripping out of the skull and jumps like 10 feet! Jeebus Christ! I thought someone had been shot! This is why I can’t have relaxing baths!