Tag: set

Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection

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Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection
You need to get your mad scientist lab in order. I’m not saying it isn’t up to code or anything. It’s just that you could use more cool stuff and you want your experiments to get super freaky and wild. Like this Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection. It’s got everything an up and coming insane person could want to re-animate stuff, create mutants, turn your poop rainbow colored etc.

You get a customized jar with a hand sculpted human heart, a jar with a hand sculpted human liver(Goes nice with a bottle of Chianti and some fava beans), an antique style medical battery, a jar of human cadaver eyeballs, a flask on a metal base for blood storage and an antique style medical pump that works. Hot damn. I’m gonna finally create life. And not cuz I got a girl pregnant. *Screams* It’s alive! It’s alive! *Squish* It was a cockroach. I killed it. All good now. Man, I hate those things. What do you have to do to get rid of them? Actually clean your house?
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Krampus Christmas Card Box Set

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Krampus Christmas Card Box Set
This Krampus Christmas Card Box Set might help you avoid getting kidnapped by Krampus and thrown in a sack. Then beaten and thrown in a river or something. Cuz that’s what he does to naughty kids at Christmas. Christmas was hard in the old days. Did you know that Krampus spelled backwards is Sup Mark?

Mind blown!

I just discovered his secret. Dude’s hiding as a regular guy named Mark. F U Mark. I know your secret. You ain’t gonna get me in the sack. Wait, what? I mean- Screw you Mark! Give me Christmas gifts and I won’t tell the world your secret. I guess I just did. Whatevs! I’m onto you Mark.

Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set

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Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set
Is there anything more appetizing than a slimy Facehugger attaching itself to your face and giving you a big hug? Of course not. That’s why you need this Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set. Your hors d’oeuvres will taste so much better when dangling under an alien killer.

Okay, how many of you said “whores de-vores” in your head and giggled? Me too. Now let’s serve up some tiny weenies and cheese cubes cuz food is the best facehugger ever.

Zombie Tarot Cards

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Zombie Tarot Cards
Look at the Zombie Tarot Cards. What do you see in my future? Is it bad? Is it the death card? Worse? Ohhhh the undead card. That sounds worse somehow. I’m just gonna shoot myself now, cuz all that walking around that zombies do looks wayyyy too tiring.

The upside is, if the zombies rise up, we can all attach our fitbits to their rotting wrists and brag about all the miles we’ve walked. People would be all like, “Then why are you still so fat?” Two words. Thyroid condition. Yeah, so back off.
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Jewel Beetle Wings Finger Tip Ring Set

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Jewel Beetle Tip Ring Set
Ladies and gentlemen. The Beetles! *Crowd goes wild.* Replace your nails with beetle wings finger tip rings. Why not? You’ll look like Witch and real witches use beetle wings. Real witches also get houses thrown on them thanks to a girl named Dorothy. So look out for that.

Did you know, if you say beetle wings three time real fast, a beetle will appear. It’s either going to be Paul or Ringo. You feeling lucky?
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