Body Parts Coffee Mugs

Body Parts Coffee Mugs
What the deuce? Would someone please ex-spleen what it is I’m seeing? Oh. These are Body Parts Coffee Mugs? Cool. That explains why that one is shaped like a kidney. You get PANCREAS, HDL, KIDNEY, STOMACH, TRIGLYCERIDES and MUSCLE. I have no idea what the hell HDL is. Human dingus liposites? Have no idea, but that sounds painful.

What’s next? A limited edition rectum stein? If so, I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled. FYI: Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s prototype monster. I can see why he tried again. The name alone is not encouraging. Oh wait. I’m wrong. Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s brother. Yeah, he was into a bunch of strange stuff. You don’t want to know about that guy’s monsters.
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Creatureplica Action Figures

Creatureplica Action Figures
Are you crazy for cryptids? Insane for Sasquatch? Yowzer for the Yeti? Of course you are and so am I. That’s why I’m gonna collect all of these Creatureplica Action Figures. There’s the Louisiana Rougarou, Sasquatch, Himalayan Yeti and the HorrorHound! I’m collecting ’em and you should too. Then our moms can make a play-date and we can play with them.

I’ll bring my Leonard Nimoy doll and we can recreate a bunch of “In Search Of…” episodes.

I hope they add more, like the Jersey Devil and Mothman. Ohhhhh and the Chupacabra. I’ll be back later after I order a set.
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Rocking Taxidermy Goat

Rocking Taxidermy Goat
If the goat is rockin’ don’t come a knockin’. This Rocking Taxidermy Goat is definitely rocking. He’s pretty horny too, meaning that he has great big horns. Not meaning the other thing. What did you think I was implying? *Sigh.* That really get’s my goat. Get’s my goat and gets it rocking. The seller named it Mason. Obviously they never set it free, because that would have made him a Freemason. Can’t have that. Also, you can’t free something that is dead, so there’s that. The seller says:

Mason the rocking goat has a 300 lb threshold. Even your drunk uncle Louie can go for a whirl.

First, how did you know I had a drunk Uncle Louie and second, no he can’t, cuz he is tipping the scales at 400.

Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth

Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth
Button your lip.

No, you button your lip!

You button your whole skull.

Fine I will. Then I’ll sell it on etsy.

And sew the Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth was born. See what I did there. I am am sew talented. This buttoned down skull has some real chompers. He’s all buttons and bite. And bone. You might say he’s a glutton for buttons.

Fun fact: At first I typed gluten, which which only rhymes with Putin. But I went with glutton so I could keep this blog gluten free. You know, for the vegans. But then I went and explained myself to you and now I have gluten in the blog. Great! Now we aren’t gluten free. I hope you’re happy. Vegans will be pissed at me now.

Turkey Man Mask

Turkey Man Mask
Turkey Man is a superhuman turkey created in an experiment at the Perdue labs in 1976. He flew the coop and went on the run, living off the grid and saving humans in danger, ultimately becoming the hero and savior of Chick-tropolis, where he battled such foes as the Hob-Gobbler, Bizarro Colonel Sanders and both Frank and Jim Perdue. His good deeds earned him a presidential pardon on Thanksgiving of 1986. Now you can look just like this awesome hero and maybe even ruffle a few villainous feathers.