I’m creeped out by this Killer Klowns From Outer Space Clown Bust. You never want to have an encounter with a tiny UFO that honks at you like a clown car and then lands so a bunch of clowns pile out and act all clowny. Now that’s a nightmare and that’s what killer clowns are all about. Now you can own one of them in terrifying bust form.
When they aren’t terrifying people with their freaky faces, they do kids parties on alien worlds.
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This Nosferatu Vampire Bust pays tribute to the 1922 film depiction of the vampire Count Orlok. If you get this thing you will have a lovely bust. I’m not saying you don’t have one already, but nothing beats a big Vampire bust. Spoiler alert: I’m talking about boobs. I’ve seen my share of Vampire ladies so I think I know what I’m talking about. Vampire busts are the best. Way better than Werewolf boobs. Just sayin’.
That reminds me. How do you kill a busty Werewolf? A silver bullet…bra.
This Gargoyle Engagement Ring features two Gargoyles resting by the roof of a building. You know how you make a Gargoyle? Get engaged. Get cold feet. Then get on the roof and prepare to jump. And since you suck at that too, just sit there for eternity. That’s how you create a Gargoyle.
Yeah, but how do then turn to stone then? Explain that.
The wife shows up below and looks at him.
Huh?
They were about to marry Medusa.
Wow.
Yeah, she has been left at the alter soooooo many times. She’s pretty bitter about it.
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Hey guys, let’s put on a puppet show. I know where we can get some cool and creepy marionettes. Marry Annette? I barely know her! Ohhhh marionettes. Now I get it. These Scary Monster Marionettes from CzechMarionettes are like the Muppets on steroids. I don’t mean they’re buff and strong, I mean they’re scary and awesome.
I’m gonna get the two grumpiest ones and have them make wisecracks from the balcony, while the others are on stage playing guitar and stuff. The seller has a bunch of neat marionettes. I’m gonna go make the cardboard sets. You guys come over when you’re ready. Don’t leave me hanging okay?
Give me a shot bartender! I just seen something that scared me senseless and I can’t stop shaking. *Looks around me all nervous. Bartender pours the drink. Sets it in front of me, using a glass from this Set of 4 Minimalist Scary Movie Mask Shot Glasses. I shriek like a banshee.*
Why you screaming?
Because that’s what I saw. The face on the glass! The scream ghost guy!
*He pours another. I scream like Justin Bieber faced with an actual woman.*
What’s your problem now bud?
Tha- That rabbit face on the glass. He was with the scream ghost guy.
*Pours another. I scream.*
What the hell? I gave you a blank glass this time.
*Wipes the glass until it’s clear.* Oh thank god. That smudge mark looked like my ex-wife!