Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug

Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug
*Looks at the Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug. Shrugs.* Okay, fine. I will. I’ll try to enjoy it. Actually, it’s pretty uncomfortable. I’ll enjoy the mug for sure. The coffee will be enjoyable. No guarantees about the probing.

Hey, if you had any idea how much it hurts, you would know that it’s gonna take a lot more than a funny mug to cheer me up after. You try letting a spaceman ram his rocket into a crater on Uranus and see how you feel. Maybe YOU should enjoy the probing. How about this? If you enjoy it, I’ll enjoy it. Deal? K. No take backs.

Buddha Cthulhu

Buddha Cthulhu
Meditate on this! Buddha Cthulhu offers not enlightenment, but insanity. Buddha Cthulhu just laughs at you. Telepathically. You are beneath him. He cares not for your Earthly vessel and your Earthly problems. He just wants to sit and chill. So why are you bothering him. F**k off! Give BC some space and get out of his tentacled face. What does an ancient evil have to do to get some peace and quiet?

Put this guy on your desk and bask in his awesomeness.
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Milk Packaging Shows Cow Getting Abducted By UFO

Milk Packaging Shows Cow Getting Abducted By UFO
We all know that humans and cows are being abducted by aliens. It’s no secret. That’s why they are now putting UFOs abducting cows on milk bottles. This cool concept design for Molocow milk makes every serving of milk a recreation of a terrifying cow abduction. They say it’s fun for kids. I say it is terrifying for cows. I do like the cool flying saucer bottle caps though.

It’s all fun and games until that beam of light hits you and lifts you up into the mothership and violates your privates, whether you are a cow or a human. I hope they actually put this on their bottle though. I’m sure they will milk the idea for all it’s worth. If you think UFOs are utter nonsense, think again.
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Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book

Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book
At first I thought “Coloring with your octopus” was code for something, but it turns out its just an awesome coloring book for adults. The Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book is based on Brian Kesinger’s popular picture book “Walking Your Octopus“. That book shows the day-to-day adventures of Victoria Psismall and her pet land octopus Otto.

I tried to color with my octopus once but he refuses to use crayons. He just wants to ink. This coloring book has forty-eight pages for you to color.
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Gothic Skull Ring

Gothic Skull Ring
This Gothic Skull Ring is pretty awesome. It looks like it is coming alive all 3D like. That’s pretty scary. Not as scary as that time I had a grease fire trying to make my own deep friend Snickers bars and tried to put it out with a gallon of water, but still. That reminds me, my eyebrows still aren’t growing back. I guess I’ll be leaving the house as angry-sharpie-brow guy again today. At least it keeps other humans from interacting with me.