Tag: taxidermy

Gotta Stuff ‘Em All: Pikachu Mouse Taxidermy

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taxidermy pikachu
This stuffed Pikachu mouse is going to look great next to your stuffed Ash squirrel. I’m assuming you have one already. He’s a little stiff, but he’s ready to fight for you in the Pokemon tournaments.

I don’t know much about Pokemon, but I’m pretty sure they should do more than stand there being dead. Maybe he’s just playing possum so he can lure his enemy in real close, then he’ll kick Squirtle in the nads. I’m hoping it’s Squirtle anyway. Can’t stand that guy. Does he even squirt? If he does, that’s nasty. Finish him Pikachu!

Taxidermy: Coyote Becomes Poodle Disco Queen

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

80s coyote
Etsy seller SaySwear’s neighbor made this hot little number. The neighbor came upon a coyote recently hit by a motorist and dead on the side of the road. She did what anyone would do. No, I don’t mean that she poked it with a stick and puked by the side of the road while doubled over. That’s what I would have done. No, she loaded it up and took it to a local taxidermist. Then SaySwear gave “Helen” a Disco makeover.

Funny when you consider that this Coyote’s favorite disco song was “I Will Survive”. At first I was afraid, I was petrified… “Staying Alive” was NOT her song.
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The Snack Rat Keeps Guests From Your Food

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rat snack
Man I hate it when guests drop by unannounced! Sike! Like that even happens to me. I once went a whole month without even talking to another human. It’s called Minecraft and I can quit at any time! Anyway, if you get some unexpected company and you are not prepared to feed them, you need the Snack Rat. You just set out the Snack Rat tin and no one will even care about your meager food offerings. No one wants to eat with the Snack Rat’s beady eyes on them!

Fun fact: I usually perform the role of the Snack Rat during Thanksgiving dinner with my wife and her family. Beady eyes. Check. Makes humans feel uncomfortable. Check. Total silence. Check. I just keep it up until they all leave in disgust for Chinese, then eat everything myself. The next day I mention that my thyroid problem is acting up again, which explains the weight gain.

Snack Rat strikes again!

Bride of Frankensquirrel: It’s Alive! It’s- No, Nevermind

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bride of frankenstein taxidermy squirrel
This is the problem with collecting Squirrel parts, sewing them together and reanimating their corpse. They always want a bride. Hey guys, we gotta have somewhere to store our nuts? Am I right? *High Five! Waits. Nothing. Shrugs* I’m just saying we all want a mate, even Franken-Squirrels.

This one’s a keeper. Looks like she just got back from the electricity outlet salon and she’s doing that zombie walk that monsters do. And she obviously won’t kill your credit card buying a wardrobe. Her clothes are half off already. I mean, in both price(Look at that ratty thing) and literally falling off.
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Holiday Bunny Butts

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holiday bunny butts
Nothing says Christmas like a trio of bunny butts with Santa hats on them. Deck the halls with dingle-berries fa la la la la la la la la. At $50 a rabbit butt, this trio of tushies will cost you $150. I know this because as a kid I was hooked on math phonics, but I kicked the habit years ago. Yay me!

Click through for a touching holiday poem.
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