Tag: teeth

Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth

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Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth
Button your lip.

No, you button your lip!

You button your whole skull.

Fine I will. Then I’ll sell it on etsy.

And sew the Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth was born. See what I did there. I am am sew talented. This buttoned down skull has some real chompers. He’s all buttons and bite. And bone. You might say he’s a glutton for buttons.

Fun fact: At first I typed gluten, which which only rhymes with Putin. But I went with glutton so I could keep this blog gluten free. You know, for the vegans. But then I went and explained myself to you and now I have gluten in the blog. Great! Now we aren’t gluten free. I hope you’re happy. Vegans will be pissed at me now.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

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Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket
This Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket is some jewelry with bite. *Puts my finger near it. Pulls it away.* This locket idea is crazy. Yeah, crazy like a fox. It’s nothin’ but teeth. This thing belongs on The X-Files. Ya know why? Cuz you wear this and you become Dana Scully. That teeth locket? Fox Molar. Ha ha ha. Get it? The tooth is out there!

If you do wear this, you’re gonna be one foxy lady. *Does the Jimi Hendrix guitar riff* C’mon, you know you’re a cute little heartbreaker… Foxy.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Teeth Leggings – Your Roots Are Showing!

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Teeth Leggings - Your Roots Are Showing!
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Why not wear your teeth on your legs? The teeth on these teeth leggings have some pretty long and dingily-dangily roots. It’s okay, I can say dingily-dangily, cuz we all have one. Well, some of us have ’em. Dangle ’em if ya got ’em boys!

Anyway, ya got nice knee teeth babe, but those roots look like they go straight down to your ankles. And that isn’t a bad thing. *Works eyebrows up and down all Groucho Marx like.* We should get together. Get back to me next week after you molar it over. *Works my cigar with my eyebrows.* I’ll take you to dinner. Would you prefer that I put you under first, so it isn’t painful? Zing and I’m outta here.

And remember, if it wasn’t for the laughing gas, we’d both be crying.

Monster Teeth Coasters

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Monster Coasters
What the? Damn it grandma, you left your dentures out again. *Canned laughter* My boss is coming over for dinner and those are a dead giveaway that you are really a demon under that moo-moo. That and your demon breath. *More canned laughter* Try a tic-tac. I thought we talked about this.

Well, if you don’t move ’em, I’m using ’em as a nasty monster teeth coaster. At least then they’ll think I just ordered ’em off of Etsy. God those dentures are nasty! Do you even brush those? Oh no! Did you glue that on the table? *Ding-dong!* *Looks at camera shocked as it zooms in.*

This has been another episode of My Favorite Grand-Demon. Only on NBC.
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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes

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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes
These Roses don’t have thorns, but they do have teeth and eyes. So they can see you and can bite you. This is why I don’t garden people. Well, that and did you know that gardens are full of bugs? Yuck. These murderous roses make a great gift for anyone who wants a gruesome garden.

Rotten Rose was a truck-stop floozy,
She’d treat ya right if ya could get her boozy.

I’ll just stop there.
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