This Ceramic Skull Plate is perfect for piling your plate high at some greasy all-you-can-eat joint, so that when you get to the bottom of the plate, this guy is looking back at you and covering his face all like, “Man, I can’t believe I ate all of that!”
You and me both buddy.
Your current makeup look? It’s dead. Time to eulogize it and bury it in this Coffin Makeup Brush Holder. Then apply some more and let it rise like a Phoenix and cover your face anew. Your old look was Tammy Faye Baker? Your new look can be Tammy Faye Undertaker. Your makeup is only as good as your makeup holder ladies. Behind every pretty face is a coffin.
Oh damn, that sounded like something a serial killer would say. Forget I said it. The point is, this is a cool makeup case. Cool, cuz coffins are buried deep. Yeah, that sounded weird again. Okay, stop looking at me like I’m a freak now. I didn’t mean it like that. You try talking about a coffin makeup holder and see how you sound.
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If you’re looking for a fashion accessory that has ears and eyebrows this Weird Earbrow Capelet is for you. Earbrows are so this season. New from designer Tommy Shillfigure. Or is it Christian Di-ear? I have no idea. I’m not gonna buy. I was just… browsing.
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You could get this Gothic Skeleton Bottle Opener or you could do what I do. Which is, stick a beer bottle in your grandfather’s mouth and pop that cap off while granddad is sleeping soundly. Turns out false teeth are really great at opening beer bottles. What’s not so great are all of those bottle caps that had to pumped out of his stomach. Sorry Grandpa.
Grandpa would prefer that I use one of these skull openers, but I really don’t see the difference. They look just like one another. Except Gramps has liver spots all over. Looks like a geriatric Cheetah. Say meow grampa!
I am getting very sleepy. My eyelids are very heavy. I will do whatever you say. What? Because of the Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring you are wearing? No, cuz I wanted those fries on your plate. You gonna eat those or what? Fries hypnotize me every time. Cool ring by the way. What’s it supposed to do?
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