This is two videos of an alien abduction prank by some wannabe Steven Spielbergs. It’s not very well done. It doesn’t even happen like that in real life. Except for the guy being taken by the tractor beam. That happens all the time. But aliens don’t just scare the hell out of you and then laugh with you about it afterwards. Well, I mean, sometimes they do. Crazy bastards. Okay, I admit, I kinda miss those rectally obsessed freaks.
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Tag: video
NSFW The Paranormal Life and Times Of Jerry Wells
NSFW Warning due to foul potty mouths.
I have no idea who Jerry Wells is. Maybe he’s the one who lives in the haunted house that looks like a double-wide trailer. Maybe he’s the neighbor that shows up to help them with their paranormal troubles. I have no clue. But this is his Youtube channel. Basically, a bunch of freaky stuff happens to this family of… (Be politically correct. Be politically correct…) crimson-necked Nascar attendees. They have some serious poltergeist activity that no doubt forces them to miss out on things like Walmart sales and buying Dale Earnhardt merch on QVC. Cuz this stuff is some dramatic activity. And it moves with them from place to place.
The first video starts off with papa bear enjoying a smoke and a mountain dew on his EZ chair, just chillin’ in front of his confederate flag drapery. Pretty soon, all hell breaks loose. And by hell, I mean bad acting. Here’s the first line of dialogue: “I’m so glad we went out and got this new camcorder…” Yeah. seems legit. It’s worth watching it all the way through. It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies lost all of their money and got ghost-rich up in this crib.
The ghost starts to mess with the piano at one point, but I’m guessing it was just a gerbil they stuck in there. Make your own follow up joke. At one point the dude reaches in the kitchen cabinet (Which is full of their best china…Red party cups) and grabs a plastic red party cup. Dude pours his coffee in, pops it in the microwave and wonders why the ghost messed with the microwave. This stuff is para-not-normal gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlEFd6Maogg
Click through for another vid of a kid’s birthday party where a ghost destroys the kitchen. Here are some highlights:
Kids are happy, despite the genetic chutes and ladders game taking place in that room. Candles are getting lit. They start singing happy birthday. Candles get blown out. Then at the 1:00 mark shizz gets real!
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Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy
Some toys will make your kids grow up to be doctors or carpenters, or even, god forbid, lawyers. Then some toys, like this Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy will make your kid grow up to be…something else. I’m thinking something between a mad scientist and a serial killer.
Don’t believe me? Check out the video of this toy in action below. Complete with creepy mad scientist guy urging the kids to eat the crazy and nasty toy-food. Perform an autopsy kids. Then eat up. We can’t leave any evidence behind for Mulder and Scully to find after all. Check out how freaky this thing is.
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Sit Your Full Moon On This Werewolf Rug
Aaahoo! Werewolves of London! Don’t wait for a full moon to get a Werewolf rug like this one. I don’t know about you, but I am in no shape to be chasing a Werewolf down anyway. Plus, I’m fresh out of silver bullets. Why do you need a gun to fire a silver bullet at a Werewolf anyway?
Werewolves are all about the hunger. So all you have to do is dangle a chicken carcass in the woods and wait. I would put the silver bullet into the carcass or maybe inside of a bologna sandwich. Werewolves love them some sandwiches. Most hairy beasts do. Myself included. Once he tears into that food, he’s gonna bite the bullet and now you got yourself a new rug.
But does it change into a human rug and then back again during a full moon? Because you don’t want company over with a dead human laid out on the floor. Murder charges can’t be far behind.
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Scary Floating Overly Obsessed Girlfriend
Thanks to Ebay seller leechill you can buy your very own (floating and old as hell) overly obsessed girlfriend. If you thought she was bad before, wait until you experience life with this one.
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