Chill with your favorite horror movie killers. Because these Horror Character Fridge Magnets will always be chill. They’re on your fridge. You get Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Ghostface and Leatherface. They’ll give you a false scare every time you get a midnight snack. Which for me is several times between midnight and midnight of the next night.
If you’re scared of these guys, just put them on the fridge and consider yourself on a diet.
*Snooty rich voice. Nose up in the air.* When I ordered a plate of ribs this was not what I had in mind good sir! Yes, yes. Your apologies are like sauce on my non-existent man food! I wish to speak with the manager. What? Free meal for my trouble? The hell you say! Well, I never! Maybe just this once. I’ll take double what I ordered before.
Check out these Bone Appetit Anatomical Housewares pieces. This bone china from foldedpigs has bones on it! And other human anatomy parts. How do you fold pigs anyway? Very carefully. I usually show them a pair of aces and they fold like fresh laundry. I hear these plates are a real squeal by the way.
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*Looks at the Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder. Too lazy to reach.* Yo Undead Ed over there! Close your rotten mouth and quit gawking at me. Hand my some crack-paper. I need like 10 sheets. This is the kind of paperwork that keeps me working after hours and I ain’t gettin’ no time and a half. That thing was like a loaf and a half cuz I baked it all day and just now pinched it off. Whew! I really need a fan in here.
No? You’re just gonna stare. Fine, I’ll get it myself.
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These Antique Skull Travel Cases are a cool way to creep out the TSA while traveling.
Whatcha got in there?
Nothin’.
Mind if I take a look.
I would rather you not.
Open up the case sir.
It was your idea. You open it. *Backs up slowly.*
*Guy hits the buttons and the case lid flies open. Two midgets in full clown costumes climb out. One of them kicks the guy in the nads. As he’s doubled over, the other midget clown pushes the dude, who falls into the suitcase, screaming as if he’s falling forever. Both midget clowns climb back inside and close the lid.*
*Looks around airport. Tries to act nonchalant.*
We all good guys?
*There’s a knock on the suitcase from inside.* Awesome. *Goes on my way, whistling.*
This Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament will look great on your Halloween tree. What, you don’t have a Halloween tree? I have a tree I use all year long. I put eggs on it for Easter, candy for Valentine’s Day and so on. The best is St. Patricks Day when I decorate the tree with beer and pay two red-headed leprechauns to slap-fight each other beneath it.
Anywho, back to Frankenstein. Or Franklin N. Stein. Or Francis Ken Stein. Aliases, monsters have them. Deal with it. Experience the softer side of this monster with your own soft head. Well, his own head.