This nose nose when you need some shower gel. Just like I know how to pick a winner of a weird item. Heh. Pick a winner. Like boogers. If boogers were a lottery I’d be a millionaire by now. And the wall by my bed would be full of numbered lottery balls instead of dried and flicked nose-nuggets.
Give this big honker a squeeze and it will drip out a snot rocket or two so you can get nice and clean. The Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser. drip some boogers and wipe yourself clean with them.
This Nosferatu Lampshade will light up your life and illuminate the supernatural bloodsucker known as Nosferatu. *Sings* I’m doing all right, getting good grades. My lamp is so bright, it’s gotta wear shades…
This lamp shade is odd really cuz vampires don’t like the light. He should come out when the light goes off, raid your fridge, make a sammich or two and sneak back on the lampshade before you even know anything happened. But what do I know?
How do you know when a vampire has a cold?
He keeps a coffin!
I have proven once again that I can write jokes at a fifth grade level. Go me. Actually I stole that joke from a third grader.
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Raise a toast to your anatomy with these Anatomy Drinking Glasses. No bones about it. I need a drink. Do I pour it directly into my rib cage, my torso? Those bony feet? Screw it! Just tossed it all down my gullet the way nature intended. Right from the bottle. I hate having to make decisions.
So I may never ever use these glasses, but at least I can display and stack them any way I want and they will look cool. Skeletons are always cool.
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I am stuck on band aid brand cos band aid’s stuck on me! Leave a message that will get people’s attention. No one gives a s**t when they see your stupid little post-it note. Bandages get people’s attention. That’s why i use these Bandage Sticky Notes. I’ll write stuff like:
“If ya find this note fab, I’ll show you my scab. I pick it all day, and all through the night. It’s now an infection, and it’s on my er*ction. PS Can you pick me up from the ER? Thanks”
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This Stained Glass Black Bat Night Light will put a bat up in your belfry. Sorry, that sounds like something dirty that Dracula would say. I vant to suck your blood. Then I vould like to put some bats in your belfry because you are a good looking woman.
Say, what is Dracula’s advice for not getting depressed by living a crazy long life on the night shift? Very simple. B positive.