Category: Just Plain Weird

Glow In The Dark Gremlin Stash Jar

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Glow In The Dark Gremlin Stash Jar
Stash your stuff inside of a glowing gremlin head. You know you’ve always wanted to. This Glow In The Dark Gremlin Stash Jar is scary and awesome.

There are three rules: No bright light. Well, that’s out the window since the damn thing glows. Don’t get him wet. Seriously. I had one of these things displayed in my bathroom once and god forbid your aim sucks and you pee on the damn thing. I’m talking all hell breaks loose! I zipped up just in time to avoid a bunch of crazy razor teeth. And it was after midnight too. You’re not supposed to feed them after midnight, so thank God this thing didn’t get a midnight sausage. Bright light hurts him, and sunlight can kill him. So there’s that.
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Octopus Purse

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octopus purse
This felted Octopus Purse is perfect for the lady who needs 8 arms to hold all of her stuff. That’s all ladies. Am I right guys? *High five. Nobody’s gonna give my five? On the side? Way down low? Was I too slow?* Whatevs. If I had 8 arms I would be high-fiving myself all day long. I would pull away just before connecting and be all like, Haha sucker! Get it? Cuz I would have suckers on my arm. Burn!

Yeah, this purse is totally awesome. If I made these, I would totally call my company Octo Inc. Get it? Okay, I’ll escort myself out.
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Human Bone Chandelier

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human bone chandelier
Lovely home you have here. Is that a bone chandelier? I find it rather humerus. And creepy. As they say in France, Bonswa.

That means good afternoon you idiot!

Okay, so how do you say “Adios to your house of horrors. I’m out!”

Au revoir.

Okay then. Au revoir and bone appetit. You ain’t getting my femur, cause I’m a screamer. I’ll fight you like Libya if you take my tibia. I’ll- Do I smell cake? Maybe I’ll stay a little longer. Can we eat in the other room?
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Nibble My Bits Bird Feeder Garden Gnome

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nibble my bits naughty garden gnome bird feeder
This Nibble My Bits Bird Feeder Garden Gnome will be a sight for sore eyes for my neighbors, whose eyes are sore because it’s usually me in the yard with birdseed in my pants, shouting at them to “Nibble my bits” you fargon iceholes! They never do.

I think they’ll welcome this little guy. Property values may even go up around here. What can I say, I’m a bird lover and why use a dish when I wear pants three sizes too big?

Zombies Playing Cards

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bicycle zombie playing cards
These Zombies Playing Cards will turn your poker night into “The Shuffling Dead”. They feature some pretty cool zombie artwork.

Zombie survival tip #27: You can throw playing cards at a zombie to stab him in the eye. But it probably won’t work. So just run like hell and save your cards for a lonely night in some basement bunker somewhere.
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