Category: Just Plain Weird

Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver

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grow your own hairy beaver
Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver like it’s the 70s. Well, maybe not THAT hairy. People were crazy back then. This cool pet for your desk will have everyone wanting to look at and pet your beaver. “That’s filthy!” says some woman in Montana as she thumps her bible. But I guarantee you one thing. She wants to touch it. It’s just gardening after all.

Just put your beaver into the watering bowl and cover it with grass seeds. Then watch as your beaver gets nice and bushy. Trim your beaver. Give it a mohawk, whatever you want.
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Return Of The Living Dead Zombie In A Toxic Waste Barrel Incense Burner

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return of the living dead
This Trioxin Barrel Incense Burner Prop is hand scuplted and handmade. It even has a detailed sculpt of the Pre-Tarman character from the movie Return of the Living Dead looking out of the barrel. The incense burner can be placed under it. The two small holes drilled through the top opening lets the smoke escape, so it looks like toxic poison leaking from the barrel.

Pffft! I have like 4 full sized versions in my yard, all venting smoke. Got a sweet deal on this house because the government used it as a waste dump. Sure, the grass and trees all glow at night and the deer with antlers going down their backs like mohawks wake me up with their ungodly shrieks as they beg to die, but it’s all good. As soon as my DNA is finished changing, I’ll be the Toxic Avenger biatches!
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Wig Head Vase

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wig head vase
Wig out with the Wig Head Vase. It will let you make funny hairdos out of your flowers and plants. It’s basically like an upscale Chia Pet. Sure, you could use these head vases to decorate your house, but I would use ’em different, cuz I’m a rebel like that.

I would arrange all my plants on the mannequin head there and then glue them all to the head. Wait two hours. Then peel them all off and wear it my own damn self. Cuz these hairdos look good.

Giant Wifi Alien

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wifi alien
This Giant Wifi Alien is what hangs from the ceilings of UFOs. How else are you going to get Wifi when traveling through space, on your way to abduct cows and hayseeds? Looks like he has these two gals completely mesmerized.

Do not look directly at it, or it will psychically connect you with the great alien internet from another galaxy. And make you flash the peace sign while consulting your crystals and burning incense.

Zombie Flamingos: The Squawking Dead

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zombie lawn flamingo
These Zombie Flamingos would look awesome in a zombie trailer park. Hey, that’s a great name for a band. Ladies and gentlemen! The Zombie Flamingos! We’d get on stage, rock out super hard while our flesh rots off, against a trailer park backdrop all foggy and lit by the full moon, and at the end we would all balance on one leg like Flamingos do.

Too bad I’m way to busy with this blog. Plus, I just tried to book a few gigs and no trailer park will let us play there. I guess only hurricanes and shotguns are welcome. Whatevs. I’m ordering some of these zombie birds for this Halloween.