Category: Just Plain Weird

YouTube Photo Prop

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youtube photo prop
Hot damn! This YouTube photo prop turns real life into a YouTube video. It’s also perfect for those folks who are still on dial-up. I’m looking at you Kentucky. Some folks will just never know the joy of a YouTube video.

I’m gonna use this to re-enact my favorite youtube videos in real life. Maybe make my cat put on a show. Stay in the frame Fluffy! Take two! I’m not feeling your grumpiness. Maybe if I take your wet food away for like a week you’ll be able to channel your inner grumpiness. Oh Jesus, can we get a cleanup here? Some of these divas think the whole world is their litterbox! We’re breaking for lunch. If I see any wet lunch anywhere on set, I’m throwing out laser toys and catnip!

Fist Of Jesus Action Figure

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fist of jesus action figure
Holy Jeebus! This Fist Of Jesus Action Figure rocks. Jesus is back and this time it’s personal! He comes complete with his fishbone sword weapon and blood splattered robe. The chosen one is here to lay down the smack. He came to turn water into wine and to kick ass. And he’s all out of water! Those who cross the son of god will soon find out he is a son of a- Shut your mouth! Just talkin’ bout Jesus!

Soon to be a major motion picture! No doubt.
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Decomposing Bunny And Kitty Dishes

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decomposing kitty dishAre you a Gloomy Gus? A Morbid Madge? Well, I would advise changing your name. Who the hell named you? Your mom or the guys that make the Garbage Pail Kids? Well, with a name like that you’ll love these decomposing bunny and kitty dishes. These decomposing bunny and kitty dishes will give you all the rotting with none of the stink.

You also get all of the stuff that helps the decomposition process. Like snails, bugs, mushrooms and fungi. Really? Doesn’t sound like a fun guy to me.

These dishes are educational and will scare your house guests. If you’re like me, that’s important. Sure, stop by. Just make sure you tell me a quick story and get the hell out. I got stuff to do, like trolling forums and criticizing movies that aren’t out yet. Ah, the internet age. It gave my life such meaning.
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Four-Eyed Hairy Monster Picture Frame

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monster picture frame
Put a picture of your loved one in this Four-Eyed Hairy Monster Picture Frame and all four of it’s eyes will stare at the picture, making it a super creepy and awkward gift, since it will look like this thing is ready to devour them.

It’s like some hippy Tribble LSD experiment with four eyes and no mouth. Hey, Starfleet has it’s dark secrets just like our government. Theirs just tend to be more high tech and freakish. I bet this is their work. Probably ended with Ferengi genitals being attacked by this thing while some Redshirts try to pry it off.
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Convict Conditioning Workout Book

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convict conditioning workout book
You gotta keep strong in the joint, but enough about the family jewels! God, I crack me up. No, seriously, you have to be big and bag or else you are going to get a shiv in the kidney from that big guy who trades Wrigley’s Spearmint gum for secret meetings in the bathroom. Which only leads to needing more breath freshening gum. It’s a viscious circle of prison life.

If you don’t have smokes to trade for your safety, you have to be tough. You gotta have Convict Conditioning. And I ain’t talking shampoo with moisturizer in it.

Use this book to get a rock hard body and be buff and tough and gruff. Remember, the bigger the muscle, the smaller the shiv. Know what I’m sayin’? It’s all about using limited equipment to get the maximum workout, even in Maximum Security.