Category: Just Plain Weird

Tiny Mermaid Skeleton Model Kit

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mermaid bones
Mermaids are the sexiest thing in the sea. In or out of holographic bodysuits. And This trio must be the super model variety. They are all skin and bones. Which is probably why they don’t do a thing for my rusty barnacle. I would have totally thrown them my dingy when they were still buxom and wet though.

Etsy seller Tinysaurs makes all kinds of cool skeletal model kits. You can get cool dinosaurs like this T-Rex, this Plesiosaur and many more. Build them and display them and wonder at mother nature. Then be scared s**tless that we are all just a sack of bones.
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Trapeze Family Clothes Pins: The Amazing Pegzini Family

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trapeze family clothes pins
Now you can be part of a heart-pounding show every time you dry your clothes. You will marvel at the death defying antics. You will be astounded by the acrobatics. You will be- Pretty damn tired from doing laundry all day. But at least you can enjoy these fun trapeze family clothing pins on your clothes line.

These guys are good. Normally I just paint happy faces on my plain wooden clothes pins, but it’s a sausage-fest cuz they are all men. You can’t draw boobs on narrow clothes pins.

Anyway, sorry Pegzini family, your career is all downhill on my clothesline. No really. My size 50 jeans alone really make it sag. Once you were acrobats, now you are just downhill racers.
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David Bowie Hanging Mobile: For Bowie Babies

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david bowie mobile
It’s never too early to introduce your baby to the genius that is David Bowie. The best way to do so is with this David Bowie Hanging Mobile. You and your baby can be heroes. Just for one day.

If you bought the photo of David Bowie getting arrested, you could hang that up in the nursery too. Your kid will be listening to Ziggy Stardust in no time and will grow up to become a real Space Oddity.
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Pocket Fetusoids: Poke-Fetus?

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fetusoids
Pocket fetusoids! Fetuses for your pocket. If my geek speak is correct Pocket Fetusoids roughly translates to Poke-Fetus. And you know what that means. You gotta catch ’em all. Except I’m pretty sure that Poke-Fetuses are not caught with red/white Pokeballs, but captured with some sort of slimy womb-balls. He he. Womb balls. That’s hilarious. Womb balls are the next big thing. Just bounce them around until you find the prize inside. A gooey fetus! It will change the game of Basketball forever!

Back on track. All on my own too, without meds. So anyways, Pocket Fetusoids, some of which look like Jake the Dog. Note to self: Kickstart the National Fetusoid League and get some players onboard.
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ButtHeads Are Cuddly Plush Cigarettes

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buttheads cigarette plushWhat a bunch of ButtHeads. Some are cute and some look grumpy, but these butts are for cuddling not for smoking. You can choose from: smoked, not smoked or stepped on. Pro tip: If they come home with lipstick on their filter, you know they have been cheating on you.

These huggable and lovable butts might even help you quit smoking. Just punch it or hug it. Or both. While others are lighting up in their smoking areas, join them with your ButtHead and softly caress it as you smell that sweet smoke. Take it with you everywhere in place of smoking. On the bus, to the movies, to dinner. When the craving becomes too much, strangle your ButtHead. That’s what it’s there for. It’s sooooo hard to quit. Which is why your ButtHead will end up shredded, on the wrong side of a knife as you completely lose it.

Damn. That felt good. I need a smoke after that.