Category: Just Plain Weird

Life Sized Cyclops Skull

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cyclops skull
This Cyclops Skull is perfect for your desk. You could put like an 8-ball in the eye socket or give him a cool visor that turns him into Cyclops from the X-Men. Who is not a real cyclops by the way. He has two eyes. He just burns the s**t out of everything he looks at.

This bad boy is limited to 100 pieces. All with one eye socket and surprisingly well preserved teeth. Ever since he lost his eye he’s been a real sigh-clops. Ha ha ha.

Get two. Call them Jack. Put them on the top shelf. Now you have a pair of one-eyed jacks. Faces high! I slay me.

Where does a Cyclops go to get prescription lenses for his monocle? The Clop-tometrist. Ha ha ha.

Booze booze everywhere. Tired now. Sleepy time.
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Skull Violin

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

skull violin
If I had any musical talent at all I would have a violin like this one. Then again, maybe not. I get the feeling that you only get to play it one time before it absorbs your soul, adding your skull to it’s collection as you turn into a pile of dust on stage.

On the other hand, if I ever find my myself in Georgia at the same time the devil went down there, I’d totally challenge him to a fiddle playing contest. How hard could it be? I’d just hit him over the head with my fiddle while he’s playing his. Hey, he didn’t say what kind of fiddle duel. Just that we would use fiddles. Ha ha Suck it Satan.
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“Poop Office” Plush Dropping

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stuffed office poop
See that little stool on the chair? That’s a poop you can take to the office. Not a poop you take at the office. It is a “Poop Office” plush doll. The size is healthy, but I don’t know about that color and shape.

This is Poopert, from the comic series Poop Office. I didn’t even know that existed. Probably because I spend more time making these things than reading about them. Then it all comes full circle as I write about them. Write what ya know.
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These Vintage Doll Planters Are Totally Creepy

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creepy doll planter
Is that a Cthulhu parasite hatching out of that doll’s head? Nah. Well maybe. It’s a plant. And it’s a good reminder that plants can kill. These terrifying planters come from Etsy seller EarthSeaWarrior, who likes to make creepy things protrude from bodies.

You can find all kinds of creeptastic doll planters in their shop. I hope they use a life-sized mannequin next just so I can call it Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo With Cthulu. Check out some bonus shots below of a headless flapper with a Cthulhu-Rhoid and a poo faced doll baby sucking it’s own tentacles.
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The Booger Bin Lets You Pick And Save

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

booger bin
Boogers. You can’t pick just one. And you can’t just flick them against the wall, because before you know it, you’ll have a snot sculpture there after a few months. You can only wipe so many on the cat too, before your wife thinks the cat has a deadly cold and takes it to the vet, where they charge you like $400 to determine that the snot is human. All they had to do was friggin’ ask.

Anyway, this booger bin will keep your nozzle nuggets all in one place. It’s a bin. For boogers. If you can fill one of these up, you have some serious health problems.
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