Category: Just Plain Weird

Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles

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cable knit sweater candleIt is getting downright cold outside. It’s time for sweaters, fleece and mittens. It’s so cold, even the candles are starting to dress for winter. Take these Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles. They’re dressed up all warm and cozy, just like you and me.

I saw these last week and thought I could make my own. Long story short, a few sweaters glued around a wick and reinforced with earwax that I had laying around don’t make for a safe candle. Or as the fireman said, “It’s this idiot again guys. Let it burn!” Then later while I was sipping hot cocoa with a blanket around me, “Son, you are a special kind of stupid. Should you even be living on your own?”

Well duh! I’ve been saying that for years. Anyone have a sweater? I’m freezing here.

Ebola Epidemic Cutting Board

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ebola cutting boardStop fearing the latest stuff “they” want you to fear and just embrace it. Put some Ebola in your kitchen to keep all of your E-Coli company with this Ebola Epidemic Cutting Board.

Chop, chop, chop those vegetables on this cutting board that has Ebola, Salmonella, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Meningitis and more. Now you can tell your hypochondriac friends that everything was prepared on a cutting board riddled with bacteria and viruses. Then watch them scream and run out.

Texas Wound ‘Em: Bandage Shaped Poker Playing Cards

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bandage playing cardsI have a full house, Boo-boos high. I have a royal flush, ouchies high. I have a pair of one eye’d kings…because they both got stabbed in the eye.

Fun for the whole family. These Bandage Shaped Poker Playing Cards combine two of our favorite pastimes, Poker and open wounds that need bandaging. How do you not already use these cards on your Poker night? They look like bandages, but are playing cards.

They were obviously designed by some kid who skinned his knee running away from a poker game where he just cleaned all the other kids out, cheating them out of all of their pop-rocks and pixie sticks and other uncontrolled diabetic substances. Probably wrecked his big wheel and when he hit his head, he came up with this idea. Of course his parents probably stole his money and so today he lives in a shack in Arkansas where he hits his head repeatedly on the wall, trying to strike gold again. Sad really.

10 Weird Christmas Ornaments That Will Give You A Nightmare Before Christmas

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10 christmas nightmaresIt’s Christmas time again. Let’s have a look at what kinds of weird and bizarre stuff Etsy is brewing up for this holiday season. You can decide if they are ho ho ho or no no no. Do they deck the halls or wreck the halls? Do sleigh bells ring? Are you listening? Grab some hot cocoa and get a blanket to hide under. This stuff could give you nightmares
Read more “10 Weird Christmas Ornaments That Will Give You A Nightmare Before Christmas”

Inflatable Toast

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inflatable toastInflatable Toast is the toast of the town. It is guaranteed to turn your frown upside down. That much is certain. But what the hell do you do with it? Hang it from your car rearview mirror? Present it to a mouse as a nice comfy air mattress?

I have no idea. I just really love toast enough to buy this. Toast is awesome. Buttery toast with jam. Yummy. Maybe I will use this as a toast rest. I have no idea, but I feel a rhyme coming on.

Inflatable Toast.
Blow it up with some air.

Put some butta on dat b**ch
like you don’t even care.

Spread it real good
till it’s nice and creamy.

I eat toast in the shower
all nice and steamy.

Bottom of ma toaster
all filled with crumbs.

All you haters of carbs
are f***ing dumb!