Category: Just Plain Weird

Color Me Drunk: A Drinking and Drawing Activity Book

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color me drunk coloring bookSo you have mastered beer-pong, drunk dialed your ex and puked in your neighbors flower bed. What’s next? Well, you can spend the rest of your inebriation with this fun activity book. Color Me Drunk is a fun filled book with all kinds of activities. Who says you can’t drink and draw? Activities include:

– draw a Picasso-style portrait of a friend
– practice making ‘regrettable’ tattoos
– finish partially unfinished famous paintings…
– design your own beer labels
– play wino bingo
– pickup line survival guide
– draw aliens on a row of urinals

and much more more.

Heart Lock and Key Ornament

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Heart Lock and Key OrnamentGive someone special your heart, without all the blood and a gaping chest wound. This Heart Lock and Key Ornament should do the trick. You get both the heart and a key. But it doesn’t open. Just like my cold heart. Huh? Sure, I’ve been hurt, but that’s not why my heart is closed off. Bacon. That’s why.

But that’s okay, because it is my one true love.
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Just In Time For Halloween: Zombie Chia Pets

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chia pet zombiesThese Zombie Chia pets are like regular Chia Pets, just more undead. You can choose from an arm reaching up out of the grave, Lifeless Lisa, or Creepy Holden. All will be green and undead. They are going to look great as a Halloween display. Lifeless Lisa looks just like my Grandma, who definitely needs some conditioner.

I swear, I could give her that one, put it in front of a framed piece of aluminum foil and she would think she was looking in the mirror. Silly oldsters! No, I don’t know why your hair is still green despite your shampooing it a hundred times. Just get in the car. Do you want your prescription or not? And remember, the mirrors in the outside world lie. Trust no one. Except for me. You’re still leaving me some property right?
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Keep Cozy With Cthulhu: Tentacle Body Pillows

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cthulhu tentacle pillowSleep in the loving gentle embrace of Cthulhu with these tentacle body pillows from Etsy seller Teacupity. There are several variations available. Different colors, different suckers… Just be careful that they don’t pull you down into some dark alternate plain of existence.

Interesting fact: Every woman I’ve ever shared a bed with calls me Cthulhu, cuz I’m all grabby like an ancient terror with eight arms. And by every woman, I mean one woman. And when I say shared a bed, I mean for like 2 seconds at a mattress store. The good news is that they now have my picture on the wall. The bad news is, I’m still sleeping on two cat beds pushed together.

Click through for more images.
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Bowling Zombies Wooden Novelty Game

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bowling Zombies Wooden Novelty GameThis Bowling Zombies Wooden Novelty Game looks like a fun way to spend a Friday night. Better than how I usually spend it, crying at the foot of a large Scarlett Johansson poster with a bottle of whiskey and rolling a D20 in the corner, wishing I had some friends to play D and D with.

Stupid “friends”. You get drunk one time and level your character up to a Sexy Stripper/Wizard street walker, with a resistance to Orc Pimp b*tch slaps and suddenly you are shunned like an Amish butter churner who showed a bit of ankle. It probably didn’t help that this took place at my sister’s women’s gaming group.

Oh yeah, this zombie game looks like some serious undead fun. Stack ’em up and knock ’em down. The problem is, the undead get right back up. You are in for a long night of Zombie bowling my friend.
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