Tag: cat

Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace
Meow! Meow! Rubs up on your legs, showing off my insides while I put my bony cat-butt in your face. This cool Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace shows off the cat’s anatomy so you can get a look at it’s insides. This cat has guts, I’ll give it that. It even has a mouse in there that it just ate. Did someone have yum-yums? Was that you? Who’s the cute kitty with his insides showing? It’s you. Yes it is. *Scratches it under the chin*

BakuForestStudios has several x-ray animal necklaces to choose from. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I wish I had a cool skeleton cat to pal around with.

Cthulhu Cat And Owl Cat Figurines

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cthulhu owl and cat
Cthulhu Cat and Owl Cat. These best mutant buds are cops that make their own rules. One is a loose cannon, the other is two weeks from retirement. And Cthulhu cat is getting too old for this shizz. These are the cats of the future right here. Fukushima was just the beginning. Felines are gonna evolve in all kinds of crazy ways. Just like my cat has evolved to eat all of the food off of my plate if I walk away for a minute. That’s a bad fluffy.

If you want something even weirder, the seller will make one just for you. Although I don’t know what’s weirder than H.P. Furcraft and Meow-Owl over here.
Read more “Cthulhu Cat And Owl Cat Figurines”

Twinkle Tush: Jewelry For You Cat’s Butt

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

twinkle tush
Twinkle Tush. It’s no longer just a crude name shouted at me by construction workers, accompanied by whistles and catcalls. It’s my own fault for sewing bicycle reflectors into the butts of cut-off jeans. Hey, I like to walk at night. Safety first, fashion last. Anyway, Twinkle Tush is also shiny cat jewelry. I’m talkin’ ice. Bling bling. For your cat’s puckered butt-ring.

True to it’s name, it makes your cat’s butt twinkle like a Solid Gold Dancer. Did I date myself with that sentence? In that case, Imma go cuddle myself and have a smoke now. Maybe stroke my hair and whisper, then fall asleep. Was it good for me? It was the best baby.
Read more “Twinkle Tush: Jewelry For You Cat’s Butt”

Crocheted Mermaid Cat

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Crocheted Mermaid Cat
Well you don’t see that everyday. A Mermaid Cat. Or should I say Meow-maid? The kitten of the sea! This Meow-maid is the cat’s whiskers. Too bad Meow-maids won’t help you clean up your house while you’re at work all day. That would be a Meow-Maid worth hiring. Whatevs. I’m down with the Catness. I’ll take two and hang them in an aquarium with some wire, so it looks like they’re swimming.

Leather Cat Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Leather Cat Purse
Wait, wait, wait! Let me see if I have this expression straight. The cat’s out of the bag. But how can it be, when this Leather Cat Purse clearly shows that the cat IS the bag? Is the bag now out of the cat? No, really, this is messing with my head. I can’t tell if this thing is the cat’s meow or the cat’s pajamas. Is it ketchup or catsup? Now I’m freaking out man! Cat have your tongue? No, but it can hold your lipstick and other stuff.

Anyway, look what the cat dragged in. This awesome purse. Ha ha. It looks like the cat that ate the canary. ha ha. I’m losing it. Losing it. Like a cat on a hot tin roof. I need to go meow.