Tag: death

Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder

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Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder
Where’d that Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder come from?

Hey Grim Reaper. What are you doing here, holding my TP for me?

Well, I was in the neighborhood and it smelled like death so…*shrugs*

I hear ya. I really gotta eat more fiber and roughage.

Where there is the smell of death, I am summoned.

Yeah, I thought I saw you for a sec when I was taking that 3 alarm dump in the woods last week. I knew I recognized those glowing red eyes. And last month when that cabbage fart nearly wrecked my jeans. I just wanna say thanks for looking out for me. Thanks for being there. You might want to clear up your schedule for Saturday night. All you can eat Mexican night. See ya then.

Coffin Shaped Footstool: For If Your Feet Are Dead Tired

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Coffin Shaped Footstool For If Your Feet Are Dead TiredMan, my feet are dead tired. Time to lay these puppies out, embalm ’em and put ’em to rest on this Coffin Shaped Footstool. I’m a little worried for their tortured soles though. Shhhhhhh! You just hush puppies. Rest now. Go to a better place. All of your old shoes will be there to greet you.
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The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture

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The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture
Seasons don’t fear the reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain… I fear that guy, cuz I’m not wind, sun or rain. Although I do break my share of wind both in the sun and in the rain so that others may fear the reaper. This awesome Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture reminded me. It makes it look like the old Grimster is coming out of your wall, bearing a light like he just captured your soul.

Damn dude, why ya gotta bug me while I’m sitting at home surfing the internet? And what’s up with those ribs? You can decide who lives and who dies, but you can’t get a shirt that fits right? Actually, I hear ya on that one. My gut makes it a challenge. No, don’t cry! *Sigh* Fine, you hang right there and we can talk all about it. It’s gonna be okay. Now tell me all about it. There there. Don’t be so Grim! Maybe you should write your feelings down in a book. Maybe a grimnoir? I kid. I kid. You look like death warmed over.

Drinks With Death Halloween Fascinator

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Drinks With Death
This Drinks With Death Halloween Fascinator doesn’t scare me. I’ll drink death under the table. ANOTHER! *Slams shot glass down on the table. Wipes my lips with my arm. Stares intently at death. Then passes out and hits the table after the first drink.*

This fun Halloween Fascinator (That’s a fancy word for putting absurd things on your head.) has a drunken skeleton clutching a cherry-topped cocktail and a light-up brain. Which describes the end of my work day pretty well actually. He’s even laying in the same position, except I’m clutching my computer, not a brain. There are also two eyeballs.
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Coffin Couch

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Coffin Couch
When you’re dead tired, relax on the coffin couch. You spend most of your time on the couch anyway. They might as well bury you in it. Just binge watch your favorite show and then close the lid for a nap. When it’s time for a longer nap, like a dirt nap, just have some friends pick the whole thing up and throw it in a hole in the backyard. Just like how I buried my pet parakeets. Only, you know, like on a 100X larger scale.