Tag: decor

Interior Frighting: Crazy Skeleton Chandelier

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Interior Frighting Crazy Skeleton Chandelier
This Skeleton Chandelier is made from plastic and bone molds. Only hang this up if your house has good bones. Get it? Pretty cool chandelier though. I find those bones humorous. *Crickets chirp* I’m just ribbin’ ya. This thing is perfect for any home, but especially if your house already looks like it came out of a horror movie.

*Sits down to eat dinner. Jaw bone falls from the ceiling and sinks into mashed potatoes. Shakes fist at chandelier. Picks bone out and goes back to eating.*
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Zombie Gnombie Statue

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Zombie Gnombie Statue
This Zombie Gnombie Statue is all undead and rising from the dirt. He gets bonus points for having stigmata marks on his hands. What up my homie from another gnomie? You just gonna stay silent wit yo zombie self? Aight, be like dat Aber-gnombie and bi*ch!

Why you crawling all up in my yard anyway? *Steps on his head and pushes him back down* Dat’s what it is. This ain’t no halfway house for horror gnomes. Pop up in somebody else’s yard else I’mma have to play whack-a-gnome! Ya get me? Aight! Peace! Don’t be leaving no gopher trails in my grass now!

You can find him here and here.

Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes

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Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes
This Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes will watch you like one of those paintings where the eyes seem to move. Stop looking at me Franky! The eyes can be any color LED lights you want. Trust me, it doesn’t matter what color you choose, it’s all gonna look creepy. I want to ask you something Dr. Frankenstein. Were those bolts on the side of the head really necessary? Are they holding up the foundation? Connected to load-bearing muscle mass or something? I really think you could have found an alternative to just using huge ass bolts. But what do I know? I don’t make monsters. I just marry them.

What? You thought that was a crack about my wife? I’ll have you know, I am an ordained minister and I work in Transylvania.
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UFO Lamp: Unidentified Flying Objet D’art

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UFO Lamp Unidentified Flying Objet D'art
This UFO lamp is out of this world! My only complaint is that there’s no cow tumbling up into the light beam, mooing and running in place. Meh. You can’t have everything. When it’s plugged in it gives off a blue light and when its unplugged, the abduction beam glows green. Just like a real spaceship. So I’ve heard. I don’t have any firsthand experience with abduction beams. Fun fact: First I typed “abduction beans”. It made me giggle. That is all.

So anyway, I’m thinking you get some Men In Black figures, a cow or two, some little alien figures, Mulder and Scully, and you have yourself an awesome playset as well as a lamp. Never seen a UFO, but I have seen an OFU which is UFO spelled backwards. That would be my “Obese F**king Uncle”. Damn that guy can eat. He doesn’t eat spare ribs. Just ribs. Cuz when he eats, he doesn’t have any to spare. All goes in his mouth you see. He doesn’t “put it away” because there’s nothing left to put away. We love him. We just eat at separate tables. In separate restaurants. In separate towns. He’s kinda like a black hole. Gotta stay away from the event horizon.

Coffin Shaped Footstool: For If Your Feet Are Dead Tired

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Coffin Shaped Footstool For If Your Feet Are Dead TiredMan, my feet are dead tired. Time to lay these puppies out, embalm ’em and put ’em to rest on this Coffin Shaped Footstool. I’m a little worried for their tortured soles though. Shhhhhhh! You just hush puppies. Rest now. Go to a better place. All of your old shoes will be there to greet you.
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