Tag: decor

Set of 4 Classic Horror Movies Tile Coasters

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Set of 4 Classic Horror Movies Tile Coasters
This Set of 4 Classic Horror Movies Tile Coasters has a cool “tumbled” look. So do I. Just got done rolling around on the floor with a beautiful girl. *Fixes my hair while out of breath.* That’s only because I love that cat and she wanted to play the ribbon game and chase it around for awhile. Sheesh. Don’t make it dirty. Where was I? No, I mean in the article about the monster coasters. I know where I am physically. I didn’t get amnesia. Can we just focus on these cool tiles? Thank you.

These coasters look awesome. I’ve always wanted to set my drinks on small movie monster posters like I was some rich movie mogul. Now I can. You gotta love that art. That Creature from the Black Lagoon poster? This is exactly how women see me as I am checking them out. So I can definitely relate. It’s a good thing that creature never got put on trial at the end of that movie. You know why? He would be found Gill-ty. HAhahahaha You walked right into that one like an upturned rake I left in the yard. Been waiting for someone to step on that. About time.

Zombie Matryoshka Dolls

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Zombie Matryoshka Dolls
Check out these Zombie Matryoshka Dolls. And you thought your family was weird. This family is rotten. Rotten to the core. The core, it turns out, is a little pink brain at the center of all these Zombies. These guys will look great on your desk. Assuming you want to scare others away and work in peace.

Maybe they aren’t zombies at all. Maybe they just have a bad case of family acne. Family acne is what we call the ugly gene. Damn, you all need some Clearasil. How about gettin’ proactive up in your hizz-zouse! Maybe shower in some tough actin’ tinactin. I don’t know what you all have, but there’s definitely a fungus among us.
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Necronomicon Prayer Candles

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Necronomicon Prayer Candles
It’s the lighting of the dead! These Necronomicon Prayer Candles will have you saying a prayer alright. Dear God in heaven, what ancient evil have I conjured up in my quest for spooky mood lighting?

SmallMagicBindery has many styles to choose from and all will have you on your knees, praying to your God, while crying and trying in vain not to poop yourself as a portal opens up, letting horrible nightmare monsters in. Oops. It happened. You pooped yourself. You can either stop to wipe, or run. I suggest running with your big ol’ mud-butt.
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August Body Mirror With Skull

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August Body Mirror With Skull

This August Body Mirror With Skull is a tall mirror. Why you can only use it in August, I have no idea. But I’m a rebel. A rule breaker. I will use the s**t out of this mirror in July! Maybe in June too. What do you think about that? BAM! That’s what’s up!

If you like skull decor, this mirror will make sure that there’s always a skull looking at you while you ask if you are too fat. And compared to him you will be. He’s all bones. *sigh* I need positive reinforcement. I also need some waist reinforcement. Time for a new belt! I think I’m gonna need a wider mirror too.

Alien Coasters Abduct Stains From Your Surfaces

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Alien Coasters Abduct Stains From Your Surfaces
The truth is out there. No, really. Everyone knows. And the truth is that your counters and surfaces are nasty. Is that a pool of bright neon glue on your table or year old Mountain Dew? Also, there appears to be a fly stuck in amber on your coffee table. That amber looks a lot like spilled-beer build-up.

Anyhow, ya gotta love that title I put on this post. Alien Coasters Abduct Stains From Your Surfaces. Do I mean furniture or the surfaces of my body, since I just spilled soda all over my shirt? I have no idea. Basically a monkey could run this blog and sometimes he does when I’m passed out in front of the TV with a mouthful of Cheetos and Netflix asking if I’m still watching. Is he any good? Depends. I mean he needs some. He’s really good at leaving s**t in my chair and drawing on my face with sharpie. But he does use a coaster.