Tag: etsy

The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf

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The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.

Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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Mythical Monster Postcard Set

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Mythical Monster Postcard Set
Send your friends a postcard that says, “I believe in these mythical monsters and so should you.” This Mythical Monster Postcard Set includes Bigfoot, Wendigo, the Loch Ness Monster and ‘El Chupacabra. Sending a postcard is like giving your friends their own sighting. In their mailbox.

Bat Choker Necklace

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Bat Choker Necklace
This Bat Choker Necklace looks awesome. Let me clarify, cuz words can be confusing. This jewelry is called a bat choker, but is not about choking bats. Choking bats is bad and I’m pretty sure it is illegal in at least 11 states. It is in fact a bat that also happens to be a choker… No, I don’t mean that this bat flies around choking victims. That would just be silly and anyway, there hasn’t been a bat-choking case since 1881. And I’m pretty sure that guy choked on a hot dog and just blamed a bat. No, it’s- I give up. I just wanted to share this cool necklace. Sheesh.

Cthulhu Polo Shirt

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Cthulhu Polo Shirt
If I actually went to an office everyday, I would wear this Cthulhu Polo Shirt. It proclaims your allegiance to Cthulhu while keeping things casual. But I don’t go to the office.

No office can contain me, cuz I work my ass off and rise to the top. I’m the cream baby! I’m the American dream! This wolf is on Wall Street. Werewolf that is! ARF! ARF! WHO GOT MY STOCKS? MY MONEY DOUBLES ON A FULL MOON! I’m trying to say I’m a real go-getter! Cuz I spend half my day going to get coffee, donuts, chips, pie… I don’t need no stinkin’ office to pass out in when my sugar coma hits. My couch works just fine.
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Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring

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Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring
I am getting very sleepy. My eyelids are very heavy. I will do whatever you say. What? Because of the Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring you are wearing? No, cuz I wanted those fries on your plate. You gonna eat those or what? Fries hypnotize me every time. Cool ring by the way. What’s it supposed to do?
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