Now we join an alien abduction already in progress…
“Beeble-brix zat-sylum kubri-saq.” Nudges his alien buddy and points at the Alien Tie the victim is wearing.
“Axl-herkl Haw-gab nee-srink!” *LOL* Which translates to, “He worships us. This one deserves extra lube!”
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Kraken of the Sea. Isn’t that what happens when the can says Chicken of the Sea, but when you open it, tentacles flail out, getting all in your nostrils and stuff? Happened to me once. Tickled.
This Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf is a hoodie and a scarf in one. It’s being modeled by a lovely redhead who was just a mermaid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The right place would have been my place. The right time? 9 o’clock. Before you come over, slip into something a little more casual. I already have tentacles that will be all over you. *Raises eyebrows up and down.*
Read more “Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf”
These Donut Worry Socks say Donut Worry, Eat Happy. Doughnuts are an amazing food. A super food. Doughnuts are also what you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over. You think he giggles now. Try poking him in his warm and flaky bits.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut make me down a whole box, cuz I will! I have the socks to prove it.
If you want to roll with me in the apocalypse as I drive my souped up golf cart, you better dress the part. You need a Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top. *Becomes a blurry cyclone racing around you* There, that’s better. Now you’re looking awesome.
Get in. I have a lead on a run-down grocery store that may have a single pack of Twinkies left on aisle 5. Then I gotta battle like 50 dudes in mohawks while zooming down Fury Road. I call it that cuz it’s full of potholes. Makes me furious!
“Bats”. By me.
They hide in your belfries
where they like to take selfies.
They fly in your hair
and give you a scare.
They like to make guano.
and hate U2’s bono.
That was “Bats”. By me.
Check out these cool Metal Bats Bookends. It puts bats all up in your belfry. No guano. Unless your books are really bad.