Tag: gold

Gold Gilded Bat Necklace

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Gold Gilded Bat Necklace
Sweet! A Gold Gilded Bat Necklace. I’ve read all of the folklore, researched every legend surrounding this artifact. Now it’s mine. *Moves my hands like Indy trying to judge the weight of the golden idol.* OW! Damnit! Hurt my hand reaching into the screen, trying to snatch it.

Seriously though, the legend of the Gold Gilded Bat Necklace goes way back to Bab-Bologna-ian times. It was first worn by Bertha Batty Butt, bat-nosed Queen of a long forgotten dynasty. She ruled with an iron fist, a big butt and an army of bats, who also had big butts. It impaired flight. Probably why her rule was so short.

See, it’s not always about me being stupid. Sometimes you learn stuff.

Gold Shark Toilet Flush Handle

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Gold Shark Toilet Flush Handle
This Gold Shark Toilet Flush Handle should be given out as an award to those who have logged the most time on the throne. Ha. Logged. I crack myself up. If you consider the toilet worthy of decoration, get yourself a gold shark. Man, I gotta get one someday. You know you’ve made it when you have a gold shark on the sh***er.

Like they say at the end of French movies….

Fin!

Gold And Silver Vampire Rings

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Gold And Silver Vampire Rings
This jewelry has bite. How annoying would I be with these Gold And Silver Vampire Rings? Putting my hands against people’s necks and telling them, “I want to suck your blood!” before getting punched in the Nosferatu. It would be pretty cool to wear these vampire choppers.

I’ll give one to my special vampire girl and she’ll say, “Fangs a lot! You really stoke the fires of my heart.”

Is your heart named Bram? Cuz I’m a real Bram Stoker and you have all the right vampire lestats!
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Watch Your Back: Gold Googly Eye Bomber Jacket

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google eye jacket
Great Googly Moogly! Watch your back when wearing this Gold Googly Eye Bomber Jacket. I guess it already is being watched. It’s all business in front, making you look all gold and sexy. But in back, the eyes are following you. And creeping out everyone behind you. If you have any stalkers, this should be enough to get rid of them.

Don’t worry about strangers eyeing you up. Your jacket is already doing that. It’s like a field of Googly eyed stars all free-floating in space. All looking down at your badonkadonk.
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Menorasaurus Rex

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t-rex menorahCelebrate Hanukkah with this cool Menorasaurus Rex and celebrate by lighting candles on a T-Rex. You probably already have a menorah, but I bet it isn’t a gold dinosaur. It is a gold painted plastic dino toy with metal candle cups attached.

Make your home into a Jewrassic Park this holiday season with this special piece of holiday decor. You can display it year round.

Thanks Jeremy.
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