Tag: odd

Creepy Clown Mug

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Creepy Clown Mug
This Creepy Clown Mug is not going to help with my Coulrophobia. That’s fear of clowns. I didn’t know what it was either until my doctor diagnosed it and prescribed me a bucket full of Quaaludes and anti-clown meds. At the pharmacy, they handed me a KFC sized bucket that looked like a race car cuz it was sponsored by so many drug companies.

Actually I fear anything in makeup. I’ve been known to freak out in stores when I accidentally wander into the makeup department. This clown is creepy as all hell. He looks like he has real teeth and I want to punch them. I’m not afraid of you. Do you hear me? You’re just a mug! Besides, you’re not the boss of me. I can be brave! No don’t set it on the table! *Runs out the door screaming.*
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Retro Nightmare Print

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Retro Nightmare Print
It’s the 1950s. Your wife has just brought you your pipe and slippers. Your daughter just expressed an opinion so she’s on time-out sitting cross-legged on the floor. Life is good. Even if Betty Crocker over there did manage to burn the casserole. Looks like it’s whiskey for dinner. Again. You turn on your radio for an exciting night of imagination fun-time, when suddenly killer mutant spiders attack. They enter through the fireplace and even bring a large mutant housefly. For some reason, your daughter is playing with one. What do you do?

Apparently you just turn the volume up on the radio and try to tune it all out as you knock back a few glasses of whiskey. That’s just how you deal with stuff in the 1950s. Happened to my folks all the time. I was the kid playing with the spider. By playing I mean screaming in terror and asking daddy why he doesn’t help.

I wasn’t nearly as brave as that girl in this Retro Nightmare Print.

Labradorite Mini Skulls

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Labradorite Mini Skulls
Oh, shiny! These Labradorite Mini Skulls shimmer like a rainbow. It’s like the end of the rainbow is at a mass grave, with a leprechaun dancing a jig above. Labradorite… That’s a fun word. Say it with me. Lab-ra-dor-ite. There is no labradorwrong, only labradorite. These are some of the shiniest skulls I’ve ever seen and I used to have a job waxing and buffing that Pawn Stars guy’s head. We parted ways when he started that, “I’m sorry, our expert says that your services are only worth five dollars” crap. I wanted 50. That guy never names a fair price.

These are so pretty my skull hertz. Nah, I spelled that fine. It mega-hertz! Glad we’re on the same frequency. Normally to get these skulls you would have to hire a Labradorite Retriever and have him sniff them out, but you can just click the link above. I’m sure they are a Labra of love for the artist. Heh. I slay me. *Cough* No, really. Just slayed me. *Cough* Backed right into a decorative Hobbit sword. *Coughs blood* Avenge me!

Dragon Head Necklaces Made With Real Animal Skulls

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Dragon Head Necklaces Made With Real Animal Skulls
No one better say that my Dragon Head Necklace stinks. It is made from a skunk skull so… Maybe it does. Or did. All good now though! The little stinker. I’m buying one. It will be nice to have a little buddy hanging on my chest. One that I can grab and talk to whenever I want. Make him talk back and nod.

Does a half dragon, half skunk raise it’s tail and pee stinky hot fire when scared? I better check on that.
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Green Glass Eyeball Ring

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Green Glass Eyeball Ring
Keep your eye on the prize. Or you know, on your finger. This Green Glass Eyeball Ring is all seeing, all knowing, and all eyeball. Now I’m no pupil of style and fashion, but I’ll ask my friend Iris what she thinks. Get it? That was just a cornea little eyeball joke. You know what they say, booty is in the eye of the beholder. No, I didn’t mistype beauty. Booty is what I look at. It’s in my eye most hours of the day and I am the beholder. I have probably even seen your butt and approved.

Anyway, back to the ring. Not like *ding-ding* entering the boxing ring. This eye ring silly. It’s not bloodshot, it’s not yellow. All in all it’s very healthy looking. I say go for it. Though I can’t tell if it smells, so there is a chance they’ll give ya the stink-eye.
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