Tag: set

Zombie Toilet Brush and Zombie Head Holder Set

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zombie head toilet brush holder
This Zombie Toilet Brush and Zombie Head Holder Set is just what you need to keep a clean toilet during the zombie apocalypse. And you have a lot to keep clean ever since you made the local gas station restroom your HQ.

You’ll be sitting and squeezing in the last stall on the right, cramping up something fierce as you try to unload your cargo after 4 burritos and a Mountain Dew. And those zombies pushing at the barred door aren’t making it any easier to unleash your crap kraken. But rest easy knowing that as soon as you drop that load of diarrhea like a mud meteor, you can walk over to that door nice and calm, open it and shoot some corpses dead again until all is quiet. Then you can clean up the mess you made all over that stall and seeping into the next, with this toilet brush set and vow to eat better.

Sadly, you won’t be wiping between your mud-flaps since the nearest toilet paper is 2 towns away. But at least your restroom HQ is a little cleaner.
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Aromas Assemble!: The Avengers Cologne Set

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avengers cologneThis Avengers Cologne set is awesome. And trust me, I need to upgrade my smell. As it is now, people have labeled my particular scent as: Rank, ripe, a trash truck on fire on a humid day, a Grateful Dead concert in it’s fifth hour and my personal favorite; a weaponized form on man-thrax. Hey, I forget to put on deodorant. Sooorrry!

Well, now I’m gonna smell great.

Captain America – Patriot
Smells like some World War II dude who slept for like 70 years. Musty and dusty, but his butt-kicking skills are not rusty.

Iron Man – Mark IV
Smells like stale sweat trapped in a jet-powered suit and since your pee-technology just gave out, there’s a wee trickle of urine with a splash of citrus.

Hulk – Be Angry
This is a grunting savage scent. It smells large, foul and angry. Think an hour after Taco Bell smell.

Thor – Worthy
Smells manly, earthy like a forged fire. But when it wears off your BO hits people like a hammer.

Nah. I’m just kidding. People say they smell good. Of course anything beats raw nerd smell, which is a cross between stale comic book paper and mom’s basement. Now where did my new Hulk issues get to?

Twisted Zombies With Brains Coaster Set

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Twisted Zombies With Brains Coaster SetZombies want brains. They will kill you dead to get yours. But the real monsters are your friends who leave rings on your table or spill their drink. Now you can stop one monster by using another. This Twisted Zombies With Brains Coaster Set will help.

These disgusting zombies are all twisted around some brains and just waiting to protect your surfaces from drinks. Who is the real zombie? The ones who walk around with their flesh rotting or the loser who ruins your table and doesn’t even notice?

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure Set

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Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure SetThis Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure Set is perfect. I’ve been looking for a suitable mate for my Boba Fett action figure. He is a week away from retirement and looking for that special someone to settle down with.

It’s not all that authentic though. My neighbor is a crazy cat lady, so I should know. The hair isn’t messed up enough and falling out. Plus she’s not barefoot with poop between her toes. Or coming on to me, with that sultry gap-toothed smile. Still, I think Boba will be happy. And he can always put her in carbon freeze if she annoys him.

WTF: Star Trek Kirk and Spock Body Pillow Cases

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spock and kirk pillow casesWTF in the name of Starfleet and all that is holy, is going on here? I did a spit-take when I first saw these Star Trek body pillows featuring Kirk and Spock seductively half undressed, so that some nerd can do a Vulcan groin meld all over them. Body pillows are for comfort, not for humpin’ and bumpin’ the heroes of Star Fleet.

Basically, for $50 you can come home to Kirk and Spock waiting for you in your bed. Ready for…whatever it is you three want to do. You get both Kirk and Spock so you are basically bones in this threesome. Just imagine, during the hot and heavy action, you can say stuff like “Damnit Jim, I’m a Doctor, not Ron Jeremy.”

I think Spock with his pants half undone is the more disturbing of the pair. This set just makes me feel all weird.
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