Tag: strange

Licki Brush Lets You Lick Your Cat Back

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licki brush
The Licki Brush. What’s weird about this? Doesn’t everybody put a fake tongue in their mouth to lick their cat? I know if I don’t lick my cat at least once a day, she gets ticked off. What? Oh, okay. Let’s just get all of the p**** licking jokes out of the way. Are you done yet? *Sigh* So immature.

Anyway, you have to use this device to lick your cat, cuz otherwise you get hairballs. And a human hacking up hairballs is a nasty sight. Trust me on that one my friends. Not that I’ve ever used a similar device. I just heard things. What are you trying to imply? Look, I ain’t no dirty cat licker! Thems fightin’ words. Put up your dukes. I’m gonna- *ACK….ACK…COUGH* Now that that’s out of my system, and all over your floor, come at me bro!

Video that you can never unsee below.
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Deer Skull Necklace

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Deer Skull Necklace
You are going to get a lot of compliments when you wear this Deer Skull Necklace. Here are just some of the things you’ll hear:

Deer God, that’s a nice necklace.

Be a dear and- Oh my, you have a deer around your neck.

Where ya from? Deerborn, Michigan?

Who are you? The Deery Queen? Can I get a Blizzard?

Well kiss my deery-air, are those antlers?

Dear, can you fetch my deer necklace?(You to your husband)

Nice antlers btw.
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Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure

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Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure
Wahhhh wahhhhh! Baby Cthulhu‘s crying is driving me insane! I think he needs his diaper changed. I thought you were supposed to be an elder god, not an infant crybaby. Maybe you’re an elder tot. I have no idea. All I know is, I ain’t changing that diaper. Smells like you just took a radioactive dump. No wonder you glow in the dark.

I heard they picked you up from day care early the other day cuz you Chernobyl-ed the place with a flaming log. Ground zero is your britches man! Are your parents getting home soon? Cuz I have an appointment to go babysit baby Frankenstein at nine. His parents are going to the opera. Then I have to swing by a 1/4 Werewolf kids house and watch him while his parents go crazy on the full moon tonight. This whole monster babysitting gig is not nearly as cool as I thought it would be. Okay fine, I’ll remove the diaper and dip you in the toilet with a pair of tongs, and flush a couple of times, but I ain’t cleaning you. God, that’s foul! Cool your tentacles while I get my hazmat suit. Your folks are paying extra next time.

Ouija Board Wall Art

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Ouija Board Wall Art
Ouija- Ouija- Oui-just love this Ouija Board Wall Art. Ouija Bored? Then grab a Ouija Board and entertain yourself by playing with a spiritual realm you have no understanding of whatsoever. All the kids are doing it and only half of them are possessed. The other half are rocking back and forth, wide eyed, chanting nonsense in a psyche ward. Psyche! I just made that up. See what I did there? Word play.

I’m not afraid of Ouija boards. Other kids went to boarding school. I went to Ouija boarding school. That’s where the nuns hit you with Ouija boards instead of rulers. Made me the man I am today. A man with mangled hands.

Teeth Leggings – Your Roots Are Showing!

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Teeth Leggings - Your Roots Are Showing!
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Why not wear your teeth on your legs? The teeth on these teeth leggings have some pretty long and dingily-dangily roots. It’s okay, I can say dingily-dangily, cuz we all have one. Well, some of us have ’em. Dangle ’em if ya got ’em boys!

Anyway, ya got nice knee teeth babe, but those roots look like they go straight down to your ankles. And that isn’t a bad thing. *Works eyebrows up and down all Groucho Marx like.* We should get together. Get back to me next week after you molar it over. *Works my cigar with my eyebrows.* I’ll take you to dinner. Would you prefer that I put you under first, so it isn’t painful? Zing and I’m outta here.

And remember, if it wasn’t for the laughing gas, we’d both be crying.