This Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure Set is perfect. I’ve been looking for a suitable mate for my Boba Fett action figure. He is a week away from retirement and looking for that special someone to settle down with.
It’s not all that authentic though. My neighbor is a crazy cat lady, so I should know. The hair isn’t messed up enough and falling out. Plus she’s not barefoot with poop between her toes. Or coming on to me, with that sultry gap-toothed smile. Still, I think Boba will be happy. And he can always put her in carbon freeze if she annoys him.
I’m feeling a tad sick. Maybe I’ll just get some soup from the cupboard. That will feel nice and-*opens the cupboard and screams. Slams the cupboard shut, screaming some more, running around hysterically in circles, hyperventilating into a paper bag, before fainting*
Garbage Pail Kids are gross. Grosser than that fat neighbor kid I call Lindsey LoHam. Or that creepy neighbor kid who carries the scythe. What’s his name? Oh yeah. Undead Ed. Anyway, this is a pretty disturbing and awesome rare Garbage Pail kids toy. Bony Tony. Dude has the ultimate Garbage Pail power. His skin is like a hoodie. 
Everyone knows that red hatted Gnomes are up to no good. They might scare critters away from your garden, but you know they get up to 
Now is your chance to buy your very own plush colon. Just like your real colon, this guy is lovable and squeezable. The only difference is this one is clean, won’t pinch off a loaf and it has googly eyes. Usually, it’s me who gets googly eyes, from straining too hard.