This is a video from FOX to promote the January 3rd release of The X-Files on Fox. Basically they scare the hell out of people by having aliens show up. Alien hands reaching out of a newspaper vending machine, aliens popping out of things, aliens scaring unsuspecting New Yorkers. It takes a lot to scare New Yorkers. Most of these victims may have had a jump scare at first, but then they are just quickly relieved that they didn’t step in bum-piss or get attacked by one of the city’s many dog-sized cockroaches. Oh just an alien? No big deal. “I’m a New Yorker! I just impaled a radioactive sewer rat with my umbrella, so get outta here which your aliens ya jabroni! Forget about it!”
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Cool UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt
This UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt shows Bigfoot getting sucked up into a UFO. Or does it? I think they are dropping this sasquatch off. What the shizz? You UFOs just think you can dump your creatures here anytime you want? This planet isn’t some Bigfoot daycare center. You can’t just drop your hairy brats off without even parking, leave them here for like 3 weeks and then pick them up after your big party of Alpha Centauri, still half drunk and smelling like alien sex and Martian Margaritas.
Macabre Tumbler Glass Set
Have a cool glass of macabre with this Macabre Tumbler Glass Set. Reminds me of that one song. Macabre on the rocks. Ain’t no surprise. Just pour me a drink and I’ll tell ya some lies… This set includes four 11oz. glasses that include moth, scarab beetle, skull and anatomical heart designs. These are gonna look good in my bar. Right next to the drunk who keeps running up a tab. The drunk is me. The drunk is I. The drunk is sleepy. Now leave me alone so I can pass out so hard that I don’t know whether I’m passing out or passing in. But I can tell ya, I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
OW! That Hurts! – Puffer Fish Taxidermy Lamps
These Puffer Fish Taxidermy Lamps are all puffed up and spiky cuz these guys are the porcupines of the sea. Well, now you can light up your home with them. Hopefully without these things stabbing you as you hang them up. Hey, if your carpet isn’t a puddle of blood and if you haven’t lost an eye while redecorating, your lamps just aren’t cool enough. Pretty cool though. Just have an emergency professional handy when these arrive. And whatever you do, don’t sit on them by accident while having your coffee.
Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Statue
What’s with all of the mythical creatures stealing gnomes? First we had Bigfoot kidnapping gnomes and now this Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Statue. What, is there some kind of gnome shortage in their world that we don’t know about? Why do you need gnomes in your world anyway? Hell if I know. Maybe they worship them or something. I just want to say one thing: Gnome more Gnome stealing.